𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙁𝙤𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 -𝘼 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙞 𝙁𝙖𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙘-

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟑

Silent was the atmosphere as I crept closer to Hatori's house. Everything felt so haunting, and the tall walls of the Estate seemed to close in on me. "You're fine, Yuihiso. All you're doing is going to him and apologizing. Right, that's all you have to do. Just make it bearable enough so you can return to work."

But my words fall flat and don't excite me enough. It wouldn't have been a problem had I not brought Kana up in the first place that day. However, she somehow finds her way into my mind and my relationship with Hatori. Like a ghost.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

There times a charm, I tell myself. And at this point, I'll take all the luck I can get. "Who is it?"

"It's Yuihiso. I need to speak to you, Hatori." My words are barely above a whisper. I feel so beaten and tired I don't know how I plan on this going well.

You can feel the reluctance as Hatori pushes the sliding open. "Come in."

"I hope I'm not intruding." Gee, what a great choice of words, Yuihiso. You sound like a polite burglar.

"Was just about to sit down and have dinner. If you want to, you can join. If you haven't already eaten, that is." He offers as we head back to the kitchen.

"I have. But I'll make some coffee for myself."

"You and your coffee." He rolls his eyes at my caffeine addiction.

Throughout the meal, I try to speak my mind. But I can never find the right words. None seem to have the proper meaning for what I feel.

I stand up with my now empty mug in my hands and move to the sink. It's now or never.

"It's not fair. Kana is free to have her happiness. She is allowed to get married, to be free. And you, Hatori?" I didn't plan to sound so cruel, but it fits so well. I won't change my tone now. "Left to deal with a broken heart? You're the one who has to remember the relationship! To deal with the memories! Is that how you want to live? And don't give me that B.S. answer that it's because of the curse."

He taps the table slightly. His mouth forms a tight frown.

"Do you expect to spend the rest of your life like this?"

An answer barely louder than a whisper arises. "Yes."

Yes? That's what you give me a yes?

In my anger, I hurl my cup onto the floor. A satisfying smashing sound comes as a response. But Hatori does not react to my action, not even a flinch.

"F*** Kana!"

"Yuihiso!"

"No! Don't Yuihiso, me! I'm not going to avoid saying her name and acting like she's a saint just because I don't want to hurt your feelings. I saw her today, and what I saw was someone oblivious to the world around her, to the feelings of others! She cares about herself and her future, and that's how she got her memories erased. I don't think she once stopped and thought about how you felt! If you were hurting or not!" By the end of my paragraph, my voice has raised to a yell. My chest heaving up and down from exhaustion. "It's not your fault. If anything, you should blame her!"

"Why would I do that! I love Kana! I care about her. I wouldn't blame her for something that was out of her control. It was my fault!" He's standing now, using his height as an intimidation factor.

"Why do you defend her actions and blame yourself! It wasn't your fault!"

"Because I'm not going to spend my whole life blaming others for my problems like you do!" The words ring in my ears, like a clanging bell they repeat over and over again.

"That may be true. But at least I don't blame myself for everyone else's problems." I sharply jab at his chest. "Goodbye, Hatori Sohma."