Moira

16.

000d, 00h, 00m, 00s

"I'd like to begin swiftly. There's a lot that needs to be addressed this week." Monroe's voice cut through the already silent room sharply— like it always did at 9 am on Monday mornings.

My posture straightened just slightly, my eyes darting around the round table once to take in everyone's appearance before inevitably landing on Mr Monroe. He cleared his throat once before he began speaking.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard, ready to type out everything he said before a single sound even escaped his mouth.

"Chaos." A loud silence — holding on for a few seconds — followed his voice. "They want Arcan City to be chaotic, and messy, and overall imperfect." His gaze flickered through the room, watching closely if anyone knew who he was talking about.

I knew, unfortunately.

"What was the name we gave them again—?"

"Razers, Sir."

Breath picking up just slightly, I wrote the word down.

"Precisely," Monroe nodded, eyes lingering on the woman for a second before they darted around the room once more. "I am of the opinion there should be more severe consequences for those who share Razer-beliefs."

When there was no reaction to his words — there never was, apart from the nodding — he continued.

"They're a threat to The System we've build. They question our integrity and our competence. They need help and guidance to see what we all see in The System."

I continued taking notes of what he said, not daring to even glance in anyone's direction. My eyes strictly levelled with the screen in front of me, he went on.

"Taking them in, questioning them, and all the other usual proceedings just aren't enough— after all, there has been a one percent increase in them, as far as we can tell."

Dissatisfied murmurs and low groans filled up the room for just a second. Nobody here was quite sure why the belief The System wasn't the best thing that ever happened to us was spreading. Me included.

Meeting Esmond didn't change that. Though, I realised quickly there wasn't anything I could do to change his mind, either. And it still baffled me to this day.

"I'd like to consider consequences for those who claim to be loyal to The System but still assist Razer's, as well. The ones that know them by name but don't bring them in. The ones that know where they're hiding but don't report it."

I swallowed thickly, eyes still glued to the screen in front of me as I typed out his words. I hoped nobody noticed the shaky breath I took afterwards.

Was I considered one of those? The ones that know them by name— The ones that know where they're hiding.

I knew his name. I knew where he lived. And I never said a word about it.

Lied, and lied, and lied again. To my friends, my family, The System.

There was a sudden wave of guilt washing over me, drenching me in all the lies I've told, all the inexcusable behaviour I've excused.

Was it too late to fix those mistakes now? If I stood up right now and turned my soulmate in, would it still be considered assisting, then?

I suppressed the urge to groan out loud at the way my thoughts were running overtime. I should've never lied for a man like that in the first place.

Monroe was right.

I claimed to be loyal to The System and then went and lied for a man who stood for everything I didn't— and against anything I did.

"Isn't that right, Miss Gray?"

In horror, my eyes darted off the screen and onto Mr Monroe, the latter looking at me with his head tilted slightly and an expectant look on his face.

The rest of the room grew quiet, looking first at him before their eyes flickered over to me in confusion. I didn't blame them. I'm not usually part of their conversations— I never have been before.

I was here to document their conversations. Point out the highlights and later conclude the meeting to send the results to the necessary department. I wasn't here to partake in their discussions. I didn't think I wanted to.

Especially not in this one.

"What is, sir?" I blurted out, eyes widening a little more. "I mean— I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to involve me in—"

"—Ah," He swiftly cut me off. "Of course. You must've been pretty occupied with noting everything down, hm? That's my bad."

I didn't miss the way the rest of the board members exchanged concerned glances, confused looks or even let go of an annoyed snicker.

"Yes, I was. I'm sorry." Another lie. "I'll be paying more attention from now on, sir."

He ignored my words, just shaking his head before he repeated his words. "I simply stated that everyone knows their thinking is ridiculous."

I nodded. "Of course it is."

He nodded, satisfied with my answer. "Wonderful," He cheered. "Those in favour of more guidance for those who've lost their way?" His eyebrow quirked in interest as he waited for the vote.

As always, everybody's hand shot up at once, a confident gleam in their eyes as they looked at him proudly.

11 / 11— I noted that down, too. Even though there was hardly ever a vote where the turnout looked different.

"I'm glad we could all come to an agreement," Monroe concluded with a stern nod, his eyes roaming each member once before landing on me. "I'd like you all to think of a few ways we could be of help to them— how to show them The System is not the villain here."

They nodded, and he continued. "We'll be discussing them in our next meeting on Wednesday." — the one I wouldn't be in; Their Wednesday sessions weren't documented.

"Okay. Let's move on, then." His eyes finally diverting from my own, he looked towards the woman sat opposite of him. Her blond hair tied up into a neat ponytail, she nodded before he even addressed her. "Miss Davis, if I'm correct, you wanted to talk about the education system?"

The same blonde nodded in agreement. "Exactly. Thank you, Mr Monroe." 

- 

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