how we fall - bts x reader

VII

waking up in the morning was very disorienting. being back in your childhood home made the situation even more real for you. it felt scary. the boys and their friendship is all you've ever known.

thinking back to what happened last night made your eyes well up with tears. you wipe your eyes and check your phone as you usually do. you notice the large number on the phone app and the messaging app. you refuse to look at them, knowing how quickly you would fall right back into them.

you lock your phone, debating on whether you should turn it off, but you decide to instead turn off notifications so you can keep listening to music throughout the day. you get up out of bed, deciding that today is going to be a day spent alone, or primarily at least.

you first head downstairs and are met with your mom sitting at the table, a mug with coffee in front of her. she smiles up at you, standing to hug you close to her. you cry softly into her shoulder, hugging her tightly. she rubs your back and rocks softly back and forth.

she pulls away and gives you a sad smile,
"what's going on, hun?"

"is it okay if we have the heart-to-heart, crying session later? i have some stuff to get done today," stay strong. you can hold on until you're alone.

"normally, i would say yes to that," your mom pulls away, holding onto your shoulders, "however the home phone has been blowing up all morning. i started the voicemail when i got back this morning, but stopped when a very sad seokjinnie was on the other end. figured thats something you need to handle without me."

you sigh. "mom, i messed up. i tried for so long to hold myself accountable on my feelings. i kept them hidden away, i didn't say a word. i was so happy watching them be happy."

she gives you another sad smile, "you knew this would happen one day, though. feelings as strong as you're saying don't stay hidden, regardless of how well you do at keeping them that way."

you nod, understanding. "i was just hoping it would be on my own terms, ya know?" she pulls you in for another quick hug.

she then smacks her thighs and stands up, grabbing your hand as she starts moving. "go get yourself ready, a little mother-daughter retail therapy never hurt anybody!" she gives you a grin, knowing you would do this to appease her.

running upstairs, you throw on a pair of jeans and a tshirt, keeping yourself comfortable, but not too embarrassing for your mom to be seen with.

seeing as you are in your hometown, a decent ways from the boys, you figure you should be good to go out without a care.

you grab your bag, phone and apply deodorant and perfume. slipping on your shoes at the bottom of the stairs, you walk out front to your mom. locking the door behind you and hopping into the passenger seat of your moms car, you let out a heavy sigh.

you spend the late morning into the early afternoon just window shopping, stopping only to grab some lunch from the mall's food court.

as you have lunch, you are laughing and having an amazing time with your mom. she's telling you embarrassing stories from her teen years, crushes, silly friend stories. anything for that smile to stay on your face for a little while longer.

after you finish lunch, you continue to shop for a little longer, being dragged into some... questionable stores by your mother to make you laugh some more.

you finish checking out of the final store and head back into the car, throwing your bags in the back. you look over at your mom to find her already looking at you. you give her a weak smile, "thank you, mom. seriously. i dont know how i could do it without you here."

she leans over and hugs you, "i'm your mom, hun. i'm not going anywhere. i may not agree with every situation you're in or every choice you make, but they're just that. YOUR choices. i'm always going to support and love you no matter what. you always have your room in our house. but,"

she turns on the car, pulling out in the direction of home, "i do think its important to at least call the boys and let them know youre okay. they deserve at least that much."

you nod, "i'll call when we get back.. do you mind being in the room with me?"

she smiles, "like id give you the choice."

~~~~~

YALL. I'M SO SORRY.

I'm not even gonna lie, motivation for this story left me for a LONG time. After everything that happened over the last two years, I was in a serious depression. Good news is, I think my meds were kind of causing some of the issue. I started taking a new dosage in 2019, and just recently got off that brand entirely. I have never felt more motivated!

Thank you all so much for sticking with me and making this such a good place. I cannot wait for yall to see what I've got planned! I'm probably gonna spend close to 20-30 hours this week writing to hopefully make up for lost time!

I love yall, thanks for the support!

Also, PEEP THE NEW COVERRRR!!