Chapter 74

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His glassy flaming eyes are burning me as he stares at me. We stand on the marble stairs that lead to our porch. The gust of chilly wind creates sounds as it scratches the earth; moving leaves and making branches collide with each other in movement. The petite angels in the dark starry sky shine creating dizziness in my head. The light trembling hasn't ceased wiggling my body since the moment I let the words out of my lips.

"What?" He asks and I nod. "You're sure?"

I lick my dry lips when my heart almost leaps out of my chest as his eyes are filled with love yet fear. My body shakes lightly; my pounding heartbeat increases with every second that passes.

"Are you nervous?" A flicker of concern fills his dark irises when I don't reply. I sway lightly chewing the inner of my cheek.

"Why?" He asks quietly and I stare at my knotted fingers in my lap. He doesn't comment anything for a few seconds letting me drown in my uneasiness. The confidence I was feeling when I was buried in his embrace and kisses has been evaporated. I'm cracking in fright. He sighs screwing his eyes for a second after passing his hand through his tousled hair.

"I-I'm sorry," I mutter noticing the misery on his facial features. I'm trying; to think, to voice my fears out loud at my angel as terror swims in my bloody veins. He peers at me with expectation and anxiety that burn his eyes making me shudder. I gulp painfully as a tingling sensation fills my fingers.

"You said you knew what you wanted," He whispers looking at me. I nod disconnecting my eyes from his. The beating of my heart causes me a headache as it continues sounding like a drum blazing my cells.

"I-I know," I mutter. "You said that..." I start not knowing what I want to say. My head is spinning as constant hammering echoes inside my skull. "You said...said that after I-I decide, you'll..." I halt closing my eyes unable to gather my shattered thoughts.

"I'm going to be whatever you want me to be," He states softly. "I can't force you. I don't want you to end up hating me," I inhale deeply taking in a steadying breath before I stand up.

"I thought...thought a lot about it a lot all of these time. About u-us," I stammer. "About what we both want and I..." I glance up to find him staring at me. His eyes are glowing but this time; their glamour is different. Instead of happiness or desire swimming in them, fear and distress are dominating them.

I step closer standing in front of him. His rapid and swallow breathing fan my cheeks as my eyes lock to his. The ambient light has cast shadows on his angelic face making him look mysterious yet so beautiful. And everything seems to be so difficult.

"I-I think, I don't..."

"Don't," He says under his breath. I wouldn't be able to hear it if I wasn't so close to him. He shakes his head before his eyes browse around. He moves around and begins passing back and forth.

"Fuck," He cries causing a frown to find its way to my brow. My lips part in confusion but I can't find the strength to find or remember how to use my voice.

His tightened muscles are rippling in his arms distinguishing under his golden skin. His eyes move unceasingly scanning everything around us; raising at the sky as if he prays for a divine intrusion before they land on earth and find me. He tugs his hair as I gape up at him. He curses under his breath again as he moves.

"Corbyn," I whisper halting his running strides.

"I know alright. I fucking know because I asked it myself and now I can't even face it. I asked you to tell me so we can move on but who am I kidding?" He shouts. "There's no moving on for me. I can't go back hooking up with random girls cause right now I know how empty that is. I can't with no one else after you either. They wouldn't be you even though I'll keep wishing they are."

"Corbyn, I-I..."

"No, just..." He interrupts me. "I know I asked you but I don't think I can bear it." He confesses sending shivers all over me. A few seconds pass in silence as he keeps moving and I stand noticing him. He's as anxious as I am; he's shaking at the idea that we have to be apart from each other.

"You-You said you were...you were sure about it. You wanted to know," I say.

"I do but if you say that you want nothing to do with me. I don't..." He shakes his head. "I just don't know."

I sit in the staircase again burying my face in my trembling hands. I'm scared of how things would evolve just like he's. I hear his rapid footsteps scuffing the ground speedily in sync with my pounding heart. He ceases his movement having his back to me. Every nerve and cell on his body is filled with anxiousness and suspense. I rest my head in my hands as my fingers tug my hair.

"Tell me," He says after moments and I look up. "Tell me," He repeats locking the eyes of his that hide more confidence than before. His body has stiffened as if he has gathered all his power. I press my lips together glancing at my fingers.

My eyes find his before my lips part changing both our lives.

This is it.

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