Swish

.24

Blurred headlights obscured by steadily flowing tears filled my line of sight, and while the hand on my thigh was comforting and reassuring, Eli's presence didn't eradicate what I'd just learned. I hadn't spoken a single word since he'd helped me into his car at the party.

It wasn't like I was catatonic, though that might've been the better option considering the destructive force of the truth that had volleyed myself into oblivion just minutes before Eli had found me.

The catharsis that would've come with a complete catatonic state would've shredded my mind and everything that came with it-all the lies, the pain, the truth...something I both wished I could  never remember yet never forget at the exact same time.

"Are you cold?  You're shivering."

I hadn't noticed, I was too wrapped up in wishing things that would never come true. 

Almost half of my life, I'd blamed one man for my mother's death, and he was sitting in a jail cell serving a life sentence for vehicular manslaughter and murder one, because he had been a drunk driver.  But had he? 

Had my father somehow figured out a way to game the system and pay off the entire legal system surrounding my mother's death and his paralysis, all while in the hospital?  

Eli's hand squeezed my thigh as I realized I hadn't responded to his question. 

"No, I'm fine," I said, wincing as I took in the raw gruffness of my voice. 

"We're almost to the dorms.  You can stay with me, if you want?  My roommate won't be there and-"

"Yes, please."  There was no way I could've faced Hazel and Bea in the state that I was in. 

Pulling in, the beam of headlights illuminated the imposing dorm structure, and it was an entire blur from Eli's towering figure opening my door and ushering me inside to him opening the door to his room and following me inside, locking me in. 

At first, all I could do was take in the small squat room, similar to my own despite the fact that instead of three beds there were only two, a futon sofa in place of the third twin bed space. 

Standard issue light oak desks matched the frame of the twin beds, and while the area screamed that a guy lived there, it wasn't overtly messy with week old pizza slices stuck to the ground or questionable socks stuck to the wall. 

Instead, a large brown bookshelf occupied the back half of the wall, a lone basketball hoop strapped to the back of the door and UCM garb splashed across the walls.  

Eli gravitated towards the bed on the right, and I took his lead and sat at the edge, glad that he'd only turned on a nearby lamp instead of the harsh overhead lighting that would've flooded the room in fluorescents. 

"Do you want to talk, or...?"

Standing there dressed impeccably and smelling even better, I wondered what the hell I was doing.  Just a few minutes before my breakdown, he'd not only proven that he'd broken my trust, but that he'd told Maddie about what had been happening with my father, as well. 

"I- this is a mistake.  I shouldn't have come here."  I stood up, hands in my hair as I contemplated how far the walk would take back to my dorm on the other side of the campus. 

"Wait," he stopped me, a hand on my elbow, green eyes pleading with me.  "Please."

Why did that damn gravitational pull have to occur right then and there, when I was still so angry with him but so exhausted and ready to spill over and explode?