A Simple Deception

VI

"A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most." George Bernard Shaw

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VI.

Alex was not ignorant of the risk that Susanna had taken in leaving her house to meet him that night. But all of the women had been aware of the risk, and they engaged with him willingly. Alex was not exactly certain why his appearance had such an effect.

His best guess was that it was the lure of the forbidden. It was enticing enough to attract a woman into a lustful tryst. Susanna, Alex presumed, was no different.

Even now, with only the light of the streetlamps for visibility, he could see the eager blush in her cheeks. She was innocent and excitable. Like many of the Englishwomen he had met, she was no doubt naïve and did not think of the consequences of merely walking with a man of his appearance, let alone pursuing a romance.

As they walked, Susanna was quiet, and spying her with a glance, Alex could see that she had begun nervously chewing on her bottom lip. She wouldn't speak, and so Alex knew that he needed to make her feel comfortable. He needed to gain her trust. As the very thought crossed his mind, he pushed any guilt aside.

Flattery, Alex decided, was the easiest route. "Forgive me, my lady, but how are you unmarried? How has some fortunate fool not managed to sweep you off of your feet?"

Though his comment was meant to settle her, Alex was genuinely curious. Susanna was absolutely beautiful. Any idiot could see that. Her beauty alone could secure her a husband, but coupled with her wealth? She ought to have been snapped up the moment she stepped foot in town. This was, Alex supposed, why Len felt so genuinely giddy at the prospect of Alex seducing Susanna Beresford. Opportunities with heiresses did not come along every day.

Susanna nervously laughed. "You are bold, Mr Whitfield," she replied. "Though my mother often ponders the same question."

There was annoyance in her tone. Susanna didn't like to be pressured, Alex observed. He also observed that she did not answer the question. It only piqued Alex's curiosity.

"I am honest," he replied simply, and he felt his stomach contort at such a boldface lie. Alex had been honest. He had been honest and decent, true-hearted, even in the face of monumental cruelty. If he spent too long thinking about what he had become, then he would not be able to continue.

Alex focussed himself. The flattery had not settled her as he had hoped, as he still saw that she was looking to the ground bashfully as they walked. "Do you get along with your mother?" he asked instead.

Susanna chuckled, though not as nervously. "I might give you a different answer to that question depending on the day you ask. For the most part, yes," she replied, "but my mother can be a very demanding, very narrow-minded person. She whole-heartedly believes that she knows what is best for everyone."

When Alex thought of the very regal looking duchess he had met, he believed that Susanna's description fit her perfectly. She was entirely focussed on ensuring her daughter remained just as perfect and amiable as she was the day she was born.

"What is your mother like?" Susanna then asked.

The question caught Alex off guard, to the point where he inhaled such sharp breath that he began to choke on it. Alex balled one of his hands into a fist and hit his chest as Susanna reached out her hands to assist him, though pulling them back before she came into contact with him. Alex had regained some of his breath as he saw Susanna do this, and he felt like wincing as he saw Susanna's hesitation to touch him.