17. Love

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I look into his eyes in disbelief. He can't be serious.. Right?

His eyes go dark and shame sits clear on his face.

When I found Donnie, I kept my composure. I asked him calmly if he wanted to talk somewhere alone. He always underestimated me.

We were in a back alley somewhere. The cars drove past us but they couldn't see us.

"You killed my sister." I said coldly.

He frowned confused. "What are you talking about now?" He laughed.

I couldn't take that. I couldn't bare to see him laugh. He didn't deserve to.

I punched him hard in the nose. He fell straight to the ground.

"She killed herself because of you!" I screamed.

"Wait.. Sofie is dead"

"Don't say her name!" I screamed holding my fist in the air, ready to punch him again.

He looked up at me in fear. He knew I was serious. 

"L-look. I'm sorry, man." He stammered. 

"SORRY ISN'T GOING TO BRING HER BACK!" I roared. 

He flinched and began to shake. He was so scared. 

That made me hate him more. He didn't deserve to be scared. I had been scared, Sofía had been scared, he had no right!

So I punched him. I punched and I punched and I kicked and I kicked again and again. 

There was this red haze of anger over my eyes.

The idea of stopping didn't even enter my mind. I wanted him to pay for what he did. He begged me to stop over and over. That made me angrier. 

It was when he stopped moving that I realized what had happened. 

"Hey!" I yelled at him. 

He didn't answer. 

"HEY!" I screamed but he did not say a thing back. 

He was dead. 

I sank down to my knees and stared at my bloody hands. I wondered how that had happened. How.. I'd killed someone. Just like that. 

A few minutes later the guys found me. And they saw what I'd done. 

"I didn't mean for it to happen." I cried. 

I told them about my sister and about what Donnie had done. They all said that they would have done the same thing. They decided to support me. One of the guys went to listen if Donnie's heart was still beating and it was. I was so hopeful he wasn't dead. They called an ambulance and made up a story that Donnie got beat up by a bunch of thugs. 

We were all in the hospital waiting for the doctor to tell us if Donnie would be okay. 

"Don may recover if there are no further complications. He is, however in critical condition. But it seems that he will survive this.." The doctor continued to explain in more detail but I wasn't listening anymore. I was so relieved I hadn't actually killed anyone. 

It was a few days later when Donnie woke up. I was with my dad, taking care of the funeral for Sofía when the guys called. They told me Donnie'd started to talk. 

They said they took care of it.

I pull back. "No.. they.. did they.." I stammer. 

Aron won't look at me. He just nods, looking down in shame. 

Some of them had told stories about having killed people before but I just thought they were joking. I never actually thought they could have.. 

I yelled at them and told them I never wanted that. They said they did it for me. That it was for my own good.  

And just like that.. it was over. We all moved on like nothing had happened.

But now one of the guys is starting to talk again..

Is that why he's constantly staring at his phone? Worrying about someone opening their mouth?

"The guys said they'd 'take care of him' too but I begged them not to. I can't take any more blood on my hands." 

Aron looks so hopeless. So pained. He doesn't deserve this. Any of it. 

"They just roughed him up a bit.. that's where the scar on my cheek is from. I stood in the way and got cut on accident."

I can barely believe it. Someone as kind and loving as Aron.. being so close to killing someone. Then again, I may have responded the same way if someone touched a person I'm close to. All I can think is that I feel really bad for Aron. That he went through this. That he blames himself for Donnie's death when he shouldn't.

"You think I'm a psycho, don't you?" He smiles a dark smile. 

I shake my head. 

"What are you talking about? You didn't kill him, Aron. Those other guys did. And.. maybe you lost control but.. anyone would've in that situation."

"Please," Aron snorts. "One more punch and he would've died."

"He might've died. But the important part is that you stopped. You didn't do this." I scoot closer to him so our shoulders are touching.

He looks into my eyes, confused. 

"You're not afraid of me?" 

"Aron..." I take his hand.

I smile and I think of something he said.

"I've seen enough terrible people. Trust me, you're not one of them." 

He smiles faintly. 

I wrap my arms around him and hug him. He embraces me too. 

"I just wish I could have saved her.." His voice breaks. "If I had stayed with her—" 

"You can't do that to yourself. You don't know what would have happened. You had to leave her at some point. She would have found a way."

"I would have talked to her! I could have told her that there's hope!" He cries. 

"You can't save someone who has already given up."

Aron looks into my eyes. 

I hold his face in my hands. 

"It's not your fault." 

He closes his eyes. It seems he has been waiting for someone to tell him that. Relief comes over him and the tears stream onto my fingers. I wipe them away. 

He opens his eyes. His flaming brown eyes radiate love and gratitude. 

He leans forward and kisses me softly. 

I kiss him back with a passion that I've never felt before. It doesn't come from lust or force..

It comes from love.

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