OUT OF THE RED ↝ dave grohl

eighty-seven.

OCTOBER 10th, 1993, SEATTLE, WA

REAGAN'S EYES PARTED open slowly as she felt a gentle pulling through her hair, her scalp tingling with the sensation. It was Dave's fingers, caressing her head as she dozed in his lap despite it being almost five in the afternoon.

"Are you sleeping?" he asked quietly.

"No," Reagan said. She wrenched her mouth closed around a building yawn. "Just resting my eyes."

"Looked like sleeping to me."

She sat up, throwing her legs over in a heap into his lap. The sun hung low in the sky, casting a dull brightness into the living room from the glass doors that led out back. The glowing shards of faded gold were a stark contrast from the fuzzy grayness that had been clouding the horizon.

"I'm not sleeping," she said adamantly. "I don't think I'm going to sleep at all for the next few days, if we're being honest."

"Taking care of G is going to be real fun when all you're running on is coffee and hot showers," Dave grinned.

"Not even hot showers," Reagan groaned. "I never get to shower anymore. Not with Gracie around, anyways."

"We hired a nanny so you could do those kinds of things. Like shower. And eat," Dave hinted, offering a prodding reminder as to why Sarah was at the house during the weekdays.

"I didn't want a nanny. Gracie is ours, not someone else's kid."

"You still need a break, Reags. Don't burn yourself out."

"No breaks. Not now. Just you and me."

She curled inwards to his chest, clinging to the light cotton of his t-shirt and sending up a quick prayer of thanks that he was still there with her. In a matter of days, Dave was leaving again, headed to Phoenix to kick off the first leg of Nirvana's tour. He would be gone until April at the very least, and unless Reagan planned on flying out to see him, there was no telling when they would have a moment like this again — just them on the couch, enjoying the silence of their home in each other's company.

It had taken all the trust that she could muster, but Reagan had let Kimberly take Gracie for the day. Kate was with her, and Richard too, which eased some of Reagan's anxiety, but it didn't seem reasonable enough yet to be away from Gracie for that long. Reagan had to remind herself that Kimberly was Gracie's grandparent, and Gracie deserved to have her grandparents in her life like a normal kid. Even if one grandparent in particular happened to be as grating as nails on a chalkboard.

Kate was bringing Gracie back to Seattle that night since she had to return for her classes the next day. She'd been the one to suggest that Gracie spend time with someone else besides Reagan and Dave, making a decent point that with Dave leaving so soon, Reagan had limited time left with him. Specifically, limited alone time.

"You okay?" Dave asked. He stroked Reagan's arm with the backs of his fingers, his voice soft and scratchy, sounding exactly the way home would sound if it could have been made into such.

"Yes. I was just thinking about everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

She looked into his eyes and willed herself into stillness, hoping that the moment wouldn't escape her before she had the chance to properly appreciate every fine detail of his face. That image would surely haunt her dreams for the next six months, though she welcomed the idea of dreaming about him in his absence. She wouldn't have wanted to dream of anything else.

"Is that a good or bad thing?" he pressed.

"A good thing. It's like I forget how far we've come and then I snap out of it and remember," she explained.