Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
☆═━ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐗━═☆
You can never un-love someone you have loved for so long because losing them would mean giving up a part of yourself, just digging up a hole inside of your heart where that person used to be.
It was there. It existed. It kept moving like rapids through her veins, stealing her breath away. Charlotte thought that it comes and goes, well, just occasionally seems as it's not there, but it's always there. And when you find love like that, you don't want to give it up.
She said no and thought she permanently closed a broken door.
Dear Diary, or me, or whatever,
I am doing this, I am taking a chance and I am jumping. It's not that I am not used to taking a risk, I just happen to be the most unfortunate person on this big planet. I know a few others could call me lucky but you can't judge someone by what they chose to let you see.
You never truly know someone unless you have been with them through it all, the highs and the lows. Those days everything blurs and the other ones were you feel like you are on top of the world.
On top of the world, I think it's an overrated expression but our English teacher recommends it so here it is. Is anybody really on top of the world? I mean, if you felt that then wow. You are lucky, I envy that.
I envy people who can take chances and feel like it's a new beginning not the end of the world. It just breaks my heart a little when I remember that I was this exact kind of person...once upon a time.
And this is why I don't like writing here. Elena was right, writing does help, some people. When I write here, I feel like I am intensifying my already tense emotions. I remember when I had just turned everything was getting too much.
I could hear the blood stop rushing through their veins. I could hear my blood stop rushing through my veins. It felt like an insatiable desire to die but you just can't just kick that chair down because something is holding it to the ground. I never really questioned what led me there and why I did it, it was stupid but it happened.
I can't change what happened. No one can. Sometimes I catch myself wishing it didn't happen but I know that it needed to. I hate everything that I had to go through but I don't want to erase it, I don't want to numb it.
I need to feel it because without the pain, I am not this exact version of myself and I am beginning to like this version, I think I will keep it.
