𝑆𝐴𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐷𝑅𝐴𝐶𝑂 𝑀𝐴𝐿𝐹𝑂𝑌

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟎 - 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐞𝐫𝐚

╭────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────╮

𝐃

To understand this next part of my life, one has to understand something very important about who I am:

There was never a thing that I touched, that I didn't destroy. There was never a thing that I held, that I didn't lose. There was never a thing that I loved, that I didn't kill.

I never had memory losses. I could still feel her warmth in my fingers. I could still see her autumn eyes closing with pleasure. She called me Dray and the name was starting to suit me completely. It sounded sweet and sad on her lips as she moaned it in my ear. I shivered.

I cannot exactly explain why I lied but I am going to try:

What would happen if I didn't? I would hold Ophelia for two moments and then lose her when she found out what I really was or when my father learned about us. What would happen if I proclaimed my love for her like in all the famous love stories? I would have to lie to the person I openly loved.

I had to lie. I had to forget that night.

Until that point in my life (and long after it, to be entirely honest), I was sure that whenever given the choice between potential harm or lies, one has to choose the lies.

It all sounds very vague, I know. Let us say that I had already lost her once. My actions pushed her away. If there was even a chance that I would push her away again with last night's actions, it had to be erased with lies.

Judge me gently, if you can. I didn't even know if I wanted to live another day to see her become my girl. I was jumping between life and death every night in my tub. Why hurt her?

Judge me gently, if you can. Making her my mine meant I would have to take off my shirt soon. Why hurt her?

Judge me gently, if you can. I was in love and in pain. Why hurt her?

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

"I don't even remember leaving the party, to be honest."

She was breaking with each new word and so was I.

"Oh," she only said.

"How the hell did you even carry me upstairs?"

The lies were easily slipping from my mouth.

"I'm stronger than I look," she said.

She was still strained. I had to relax her. I had to make my lies believable.

"Oh, Merlin..." I said. "Did I take off my clothes in front of you? I promise it wasn't intentional. I read a research about it. Many people do that when they are drunk; it's because it's your primal instinct to be naked."

"No! Thankfully, you didn't go as far," she exclaimed and finally let out a short burst of laughter.

I had missed it.

"Ah..." I said and rolled my eyes in pretentious relief. "Thank goodness for that."

She licked her lips and looked away. Our silence returned.

The blue hour of dawn was long gone and the light was warm even through the blinding whiteness of the imminent winter.

Ophelia was always a creature of the night. It was like she was thrown into another world, one that didn't suit her. I wanted her buried in the darkness of our sleeplessness.