Sick Girl

~ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓁 ~

I sat and cried in my room. I was packing to go to the hospital. They wanted me in right away to start treatment. I asked Mom and Dad not to break the news to Kiera, Alex, and Zach yet because I wanted to be the one to tell them. To tell them...I-I had cancer. 

Now, on a normal Tuesday for everyone else, I had gotten the worst diagnosis of my life, and am trying to stuff every ounce of comfort into two suitcases. One is for clothes, shoes, and accessories. The other is for mementos, keepsakes, and things to make me feel at home.

I carefully packed everything I needed into my cases, but I wished I could bring everything, including my room. 

I lugged the bags down the hall and overheard Mom and Dad crying and comforting each other. They were showing weakness behind my back so they could be strong for me. I wish to find someone and have what they do one day. 

I packed the car and Dad came out and added a large case for him and Mom so they could sleepover tonight with me. The bedding was also brought and secured as well as stuffed animals. 

The car ride was silent as we were all still taking in the news. A few silent tears escaped my eyes, creating wet trails down my cheeks. I stared out the window at nothing. I couldn't even truly register that this was actually happening. I hoped I would wake up from the nightmare, but I never did.

We pulled into the parking lot of General Children's Hospital. We checked into the front desk. 

The oncology floor is #4." The receptionist gave me a sad smile.

"Thank you," Mom mumbled. 

I was too numb to reply or process anything for the next couple of hours. Not we drag our bags into the elevator and listen to the sad music as we go up or as I wait for Mom to check into the floor. Even when we are shown to my new home for the following weeks by a helpful nurse, I can't feel the pain.

My new room is nice. I have my own private bathroom that has a small shower, toilet, and sink. The bedroom opens up to the main hallway that connects to the activity center, the main office area, and other kid's rooms. 

My room has a window with a pretty view, overlooking part of the downtown metropolitan area. There is a hospital bed in the middle of the room that had nightstands on both sides. The bed looked like the one I awoke in when I passed out. It had dividers on the sides that could double as handles if I needed to be moved in an emergency. The back reclined flat but was in a lounging position. A small dresser was located opposite the window that was next to a shelf for books. 

As we were inspecting my new home, the nice nurse knocked on the door and popped her head in, "Hi! You can call me Cally." She shook all of our hands as we introduced ourselves. 

"Ms. Johnson and this is my husband."

"Sam." She had a firm grip.

"I am the head nurse for the oncology floor, so if you have any problems please come to me. Dr. Griffin would like to have a meeting with you. He is ready whenever you are free." Cally flipped through her clipboard.

"Well then, can you please show us to his office?"

"Right this way please."

I got my first good look at the ward. Kids with bald heads or hats scurried around the floor. Some had drip lines implanted into their arms and were pushing a stand on wheels that held the bag. Some were laughing and running around. A few had portable oxygen tanks or wheelchairs.

The halls were filled with drawings, posters, and colorful paint. I could tell the staff really tried to make the ward feel welcoming.

"This is the activity center for kids on the floor." Cally pointed out.

I peeked inside. It looked like kids were sitting on beanbags and watching a movie. Some had snacks or candy. Some friends or family members resided next to their respective kids or were chatting quietly with each other.

"Elavators are back that hallway which will end you up at the front desk again. You can get food from the cafeteria on Floor #1. Ah! Here we are!" Cally smiled.

"Thank you, Ms.Cally," I said sadly.

"Please call me Cally." She winked and pulled open the door, "Dr.Griffin, Sam, Mr., and Ms. Johnson are here!"

"Thanks Cally." He gave her a smile. "Please! Come on in."

Cally shut the door behind us and we settled into the plush blue chairs that were on one side of a large maple desk. 

Dr. Griffin was not a large man. He was rather medium of hight and had a mustache. He had a twinkle in his eyes and an easy smile. 

His office was organised and neat. Papers marked with bright tabs stood in an orderly pile were pushed to the corner of the great desk. His file cabniet was labeled and pristine. He had a bookshelf full of medical textbooks that were void of a single dust particle.

We sat in the plush chairs.

"Hello Sam, Mr., and Mrs. Johnson. Welcome to General Children's Hospital. You will be staying with us for a while while you get treatment for you leukemia. Do you understand what leukemia is?"

I knew a basic definition from Biology class when we learned about cancer. I would have payed more attention if I knew I needed it later.

He took my silence as an answer, "Leukemia is the cancer of the blood. Particulairy white blood cells are effected. To determine what kind of cancer you have particularly, we will need to do a bone marrow biosopsy. At this time I cannot formally discuss a treatment plan until we know exactly which type of leukemia, but I can speculate that you will need chemotherapy. We will talk about that once we get results. Are there any questions you would like to ask before I go into the details of the biosopy?"

Mom and Dad asked a lot of questions. I wasn't paying attention anymore. I am blankly staring out the window at the passing cars of people who I wish would be me.

I just want this day to end.