✔Touch Starved [Taekook]

17

TW//: Mention of visible scars, panic attacks

~

Jungkook looked at his oversized clothes in the mirror. It was really hot outside today and he wondered if he could stand it in his current clothing. Jungkook dug through his clothes until he found a t-shirt. Slipping it over his head instead of his long-sleeved sweater. 

Jungkook looked down at his forearms. The lines of darker skin and healed scars. He let out a shaky breath, remembering the reason they were there in the first place. "It's okay... You can do this..." He muttered. 

He sighed glancing around the room, spotting Winston on the bed. "Alright you're coming with me too, let's go." He said grabbing the plush owl and heading off to the cafe to study with the others.

Jungkook made it there quickly and spotted the group off in a corner. The whole table was covered in books and papers as exams were quickly approaching. 

Taehyung was the first one to notice him as he approached the table. "Hey, Jungkook!" He said glancing at him quizzically. Pondering if it would be appropriate to mention Jungkook's lack of sleeves or not.

Although Jin quickly made up his mind for him as he interrupted. "Oh my god! YOU'RE WEARING A T-SHIRT!" 

Jungkook shifted as all eyes were now glued on him. "Uh... Yeah... Is that a problem?" He questioned quietly.

"No! Not at all!" Namjoon quickly assured, gesturing to a chair. "Sit."

Jungkook nodded as he took the seat. "Does anyone know how I can showcase growth for my photography portfolio?" He asked.

Everyone shook their heads.

"Can't you take pictures of like... Plants? Or something?" Jimin asked aggressively marking over certain parts in his essay.

Jungkook shook his head. "It has to be like personal growth or whatever... I don't get it..." He yawned as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Personal growth? You can talk about-" Taehyung was cut off by a lady storming over to their table.

"HOW DARE YOU!" She yelled making everyone freeze. They all looked between each other wondering what her deal was. "YOU!" He said pointing to Jungkook.

The boy jumped as he tilted his head in confusion. "Me?"

"YES! YOU!" The lady yelled. "I honestly can't believe you would be so insensitive to those around you!"

Jungkook froze on the spot, unsure of how to respond. Namjoon spoke up for him instead. "I'm sorry what did he do?"

"You seriously let your friend walk around with his scars visible? Do you even understand how that can trigger other people?" She accused.

Jungkook avoided eye contact as he tried to pull his sleeves down to cover his arms. His insecurity seeping through. "I- I..." Jungkook sputtered out. 

"Don't act all shy now when you were clearly faulting your scars in this public area! Anyone could have seen with you waving your arms around everywhere!"

Jimin offered Jungkook his windbreaker to cover up, the youngest clearly very uncomfortable. 

"I think you need to leave," Yoongi spoke up firmly.

The woman scoffed. "And you are you to say that to me?" He asked putting her hands on her hips. "You don't have the power to kick me out."

"Yeah, he doesn't," Namjoon said standing up. "But I do. Get out!" 

"Excuse me?" The lady put her hand to her chest.

"My family owns this cafe. You heard me. You aren't welcome here anymore. The door is over there!" Namjoon told and watched her scoff and leave the building. 

Everyone turned back to Jungkook. "Are you okay?" Hoseok was the first to ask. 

Jungkook shook his head. "I... I'm going to go... I should go..." He sniffled quickly throwing Jimin his coat back before rushing out of the cafe.

"Jungkook!" Taehyung called but it was no use. The older excused himself from the table to chase after the youngest. Grabbing Winston which Jungkook had left on his seat.

Taehyung found the younger curled up on the floor in their dorm room. "Oh, Jungkook..." Taehyung said quickly bending down to meet Jungkook's level. "Don't listen to that bitch." He told handing the owl to him.

Jungkook sniffled. "But she's right."

"How is she right?" Taehyung asked sitting beside him.

"Because... Because my scars... They can trigger oth-other people." Jungkook hiccuped as he looked down at his arms.

Taehyung frowned. "They can. But you aren't responsible for other people's triggers. You are responsible for your own. Understand?"

Jungkook frowned as well, tilting his head. "Yeah, I guess-"

"No, no, no." Taehyung shushed him. "Not I guess, you are not responsible for other people's triggers. Full stop."

Jungkook looked away as he held Winston closer to his chest.

"You're very brave Jungkook," Taehyung said holding the younger arms.

"How am I brave?" Jungkook mumbled.

Taehyung took a deep breath. "It takes a lot to go out of the house with these on display. Showing your insecurities and past struggles..."

Jungkook tried to match his breathing to Taehyung's. "I-I don't f-feel very brave..."

"You are," Taehyung assured. "They are like your tiger stripes. You're fierce and ready to take on the world." He flashed a boxy smile.

"I still don't feel fierce... I don't like looking at them... Even if they are old and healed... They'll never go away... I'll always remember why they are there in the first place..." Jungkook muttered as he finally began to calm down. 

Taehyung got up and rummaged through his desk before coming back with a gold sharpie. "In Japan, they have something called kintsugi. It's where they repair broken pottery with gold. To me, it shows that something that may have once been considered broken or useless can still be infinitely valuable." He explained holding a hand out.

Jungkook turned his arm over to show Taehyung. Watching as the older drew over his scars with the gold sharpie. Doing the same thing on the older arm until they were no longer visible. Jungkook turned his arms over a few times to see the gold sparkle in the light.

"See. Your scars can be pretty. You're a golden boy." Taehyung praised.

Jungkook let out a small chuckle as he looked at the older. "Taehyung..."

"Yeah?"

Jungkook took a few deep breaths. "Taehyung..." He repeated.

~

Alright, cliffhanger hehe. 

Half of what Taehyung said in the chapter is something my therapist has said to me and the other half is what friends have done for me.