"You told me to learn to live without you but you taught me how to get through life with you!"
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Since the day you could remember, eli had been your one and only. The only person you'd need to put a smile on your face, the only person you'd know cou...
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'All I know since yesterday is everything has changed' •Everything has changed ~ Taylor Swift•
Eli hesitated to take the last step to pull you into his arms. He hesitated because he didn't know how you'd react and he didn't know how he would react to being this close to you again. He still remembered the last time the two of you had gotten this close, it was at the beach - just a day before you left for the next year.
"You know, I don't know what i'm going to do without you Alex." Eli sighed into the clear air around the both of you. It was a beautiful sunset on the sand, something one may have seen in a movie. A movie he wished could be played over and over again until time came to stop. "Please don't leave."
You lay across his sharp chest, his head in the sand as his hands found the little ends of your hair. "I'm sorry Eli, I wish i didn't have to go. I wish i could stay with you, for every single day until we die!"
"That would be impossible because we all know that you'd be the first to die so you'd be leaving first anyway." The boy giggled, chest shaking beneath you as he did. You flipped your self around so your chin was now sitting where your head had previously been, staring at his perfectly structured face, smiling, under the suns deep glow. "Please don't forget about me while your away."
"I promise you with all of my heart I won't. I wouldn't think of doing such a thing." You whisper, moving your hands to cup his face.
"Alex?"
"Eli?"
"Can we- can we kiss again. Please?" Eli hadn't known what came upon him in that moment. He knew he had to do something before you left without anything else to hold onto other than cherished memories.
"Kiss? As in like right no-"
"I know - I know it sounds bad, ok? It's just i feel like it wouldn't be right to end things with nothing but a teary goodbye. But it's o-okay if you don't want to." His voice began to crack a little from the strong tension noticed between you. By the look on your face and the way you had questioned him, he was already regretting his words. But you weren't regretting your next choices.
You scooted yourself forward to meet him at eye level, still holding onto his cheeks with the kind palms of your hands. His cheeks burning a deep pink as he licked his dry lips, his eyes adverting between yours and your lips. You smiled, nodding as you let go of his cheek, grasping at the top of his soft jumper to pull him into you. And finally, his lips met your own again. But this time it was filled with much more meaning and the feeling of him letting go couldn't be seen for miles. It was slower, more gentle than a quick peck of the lips and the emotion was enough to drive you crazy.
"Eli? Nothing is going to end and nor will it ever."
And with those words, Eli then realised that he was in love with you. After all these years of close bonds and friendship, he finally knew why you where thought of so differently to anyone else he had ever met before. Eli was never one to be in tune with his most inner feelings but right then, he knew exactly what was happening. You were his everything. The one for him. And he told himself, in that moment, he could wait trillions of years for you and nothing would change. So one year wouldn't be so bad right?
But here you both where now.
You didn't know what snapped within you, wether that be the fatigue withering through your veins or just the pure desperation when seeing Eli hesitate that made you wrap your arms around the boy in front of you. You let the tears fall onto his chest - tears you both knew he had caused. Eli hated seeing you like this and he wished nothing more than to turn back time, to never walk away from you the way he did, to never let you leave his arms on that day on the beach. But he knew it had been best for him - right?
"I'm so sorry Alex." He whispered whilst moving his hand up and down your back to try and get you to calm down.
"Y-you don't get to do this Eli. I cant let you. This will be over in a few minutes and then you'll leave me in the dark like last time. I can't go through that again." You cried and let yourself break down in his arms. You let him catch you and somehow you knew it would be a mistake.
"I'm not worth crying over Al. You're already doing better without me."
"I'm doing better?" You asked, freeing yourself from his arms. "You really think i'm doing better? You really think coming home after all of that fighting, after all of that fucking pain just to see the person i thought would never leave me do the complete opposite?"
"I-I-" Eli started, but you had enough. You had enough of him standing there, telling you how sorry he was when he probably couldn't even give to shits for what exactly he was apologising for.
"You said to me - You asked me to promise you i'd never forget about you! Didn't you? Look where that left us Eli? Who are you, look at yourself. This isn't you. Your hair. Your clothes. Your words. What happened? Do you really think I want to go through the process of loosing someone again? You told me to learn to live without you but you taught me how to get through life with you! Your breaking me Eli!" At this point tears were streaming down your face for the second time that night. But this time, no intention of stopping.
"You don't get to stand here and tell me you're sorry. The worst part is, is that you were the one i thought would never hurt me like that! And yes i know i said that about my own fucking mother before and yes she did hurt me but i had you. I had you and now your expecting me to except the fact your leaving me too? But clearly, Eli, it sure as hell didn't hurt you one bit to make the decision to delete me out of your stupid fucking life." You felt your knees shake to the stage of breaking point, you would have hit the ground without stopping yourself. But of course Eli was there to catch you.
He carefully sat you down on the ground at the front of your house before sitting next to you, pulling you back into his strong embrace. You were too tired to fight, too tired to tell him to go away and let you be the mess you were. It wasn't until you felt a tear hit the top of your head that you realised Eli had tears rolling down his red blotched cheeks as well.
"It was the hardest thing i ever had to do in my life - let you walk away, you know?"
"Then why did you let me walk away? Why did you never return any of my texts or calls?" You sobbed, burying your face in his chest.
"I-I couldn't. I wouldn't have been able to forget you." By the little stutter heard at the beginning of his sentence you knew he answered your question truthfully. It really was true, he wanted to get you out of his head, he wanted to forget you, but he never wanted you out of his life.
"Did you? Did you forget about me?" You whispered - barely even knowing if Eli had heard you.
"I could never forget you." Eli whispered back as he placed a kiss on your hair, pulling you closer, letting the two of you have this small moment of peace before everything was going back to like this night had never happened.
And when falling asleep, thinking about that night you spent being in Eli's arms again felt like a dream you'd just awoken from. A dream that you wished would be your reality once again.
Eli missed you. He missed his best friend. He missed what the two of you had and he missed all the inside jokes you once shared. He lied to himself when he said he didn't care about you and that deleting you from his life was the best ever option he had.
Because that was anything but the better option as ever since he stopped talking to the girl he looked up to the most he knew he ended something that should've never ended in the first place. The end of something that was once all you both needed to be happy. But what now?
