1 8 Like A Secret Or A Sin

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Jevelene stood in the cold, staring at the fog covered at the end of the street, where everything seemed to disappear in pure white. She felt a snowflake on her nose and looked up. It was snowing. She looked at the grey sky and the heavenly white snow, slowly making its way to the earth, slowly piling up on the streets. The streetlights shone golden. 

'Through all the deep waters, you have to smile your way,' She heard her father's words.

"What if those waters freeze and I'm trapped inside inside ice?
What if there is winter living inside my bones
And when life becomes too heavy
I can hear my glaciers groan," She said inside her head.

"Jevelene," Ariel said and she looked at him. Under the golden streetlight, his brown hair shone and so did his golden skin. His cheeks were red from the cold. The ice along his lashes reflected back all the light. If some mortal looked at him, they would start believing in magic.

He was a proof that there was beauty in the endless white. She looked at him in a summer daze,
'I look at you,
And see sunshine,'
Jevelene thought.

He looked up at the sky. His chubby, red cheeks looked like a shy, red sun in a foggy, winter morning. The streetlight suddenly went out and his skin turned from golden to white, "It's getting pretty cold," 
Nataniel took his tongue out and felt the snow fall on it, "Sweet," 

"We should go back now. Come Jevelene," Ariel held her hand and pulled but she didn't move, "I don't want to go back," She announced.
"What are you saying? Your hands are freezing, dumbass!" He yelled.
"Yes, so are yours. You should go inside,"

"Not without you," He paced towards her.
"We've got different ways," She pulled her hands away from his slowly, "I am going to the city of the dead, alone,"

"ARE YOU INSANE?" He yelled.

"YES!" She yelled back and that got him. But she quickly gathered her decorum and intertwined her fingers before her stomach. She looked down and Ariel looked down at her.

"Jevelene,"

"...I don't remember the last time I could breathe," She said, "There's this hole in my chest where my lungs and heart should be but I have this constant feeling that I'm bursting into flames and then the windstoms scatters my ashes over and over. How is it possible that I feel everything and yet nothing at once? Am I dead inside or in love with the world but don't know what to do. I don't know anything anymore. I'm scared, Ariel.

I'm scared we don't have much time left together,"

"What...Do you mean?" He asked.

"I have been thinking a lot lately. About who I really am. I am Jevelene Stacephene. Demigod daughter of Morana, slavic goddess of winter, plague and death. Yes, death," She looked at Ariel and took a step away from him, "Trust me, I want you to stay, but my anxiety tells me otherwise. I know I am overthinking, please don't be angry. That's just how I am–"

"Everyone's not gonna put up with "ThaT's jUsT hOw I aM." He sounded very angry, "Don't be angry you say? Well, then don't make me fucking angry. WHY ARE YOU SAYING ALL THIS BULLSHIT?! IT'S MAKING FEEL SO BAD, JEVELENE!" 
She shuddered and so did Nataniel. Ariel was intimidating when he was furious.

"All this shit just because you're insecure I'm going to leave you? I fucking love you so much, dude-Like-I-Just-I-like-I-I-I don't even know how to express it. Fuck! I'm just lacking the fucking words because I'm just so fucking sad you think that!

It's the most stupid thing you've ever said, Jevelene. I am so disappointed." He shook his head vigorously and she looked down, "I am overwhelmed to think of a future without you," She mumbled.

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