Sunflower Reviews

Mila - Scream For Me: A Tale of Revenge in the West

  Reviewer: Mila Mila_333

Review: Scream For Me: A Tale of Revenge in the West.

   Client: dispeepwrites

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Blurb

First of all, I saw that you changed the blurb when I was writing down your review and I believe you did great. I'm glad to point out that you've corrected most things I initially outlined in the draft review. But I still have to correct you on certain aspects according to the current blurb.

I absolutely love the strong introduction of the new blurb as it gives a perfectly relatable indication to the plot. You've also done a fabulous job by mentioning Bill and Marge first and then Rainier Fog in a separate paragraph, it makes your presentation lean towards a more professional side.

Now coming to the lesser bright side of the blurb is the verb tenses that you've used. Since the story dates back to ancient times, the past tense would be very well much suitable. Beware of all the mistakes your blurb contains as this will surely be detrimental for the promotion of your book as the second thing people read in a book is normally the blurb, the first one being the title.

Title

The title is totally relatable to the plot and is very accurate. It can also be quite alluring which is a good thing since you can attract readers. It's also true that you get a better gist of the meaning behind the title after reading a couple of chapters, I could obviously understand 'A Tale Of Revenge' reading the blurb only but the 'Scream For Me' part was quite blurry. It still is and I hope to find out soon.

However, I feel like 'Scream For Me: A tale Of Revenge In The West' is too long for a title. It would have been alright if all the elements included in the title were equally crucial but it isn't the case since the three last words 'In The West' can be deducted and hence 'Scream For Me: A Tale Of Revenge' will be best.

Cover

To be honest, the current covers haven't done a tiny ounce of justice to your work. There's a strong need for you to work on a better cover. I saw you've changed the covers and the current one is slightly better but there's still a lot of creativity needed.

I suggest you go for a blunt and strong front. I imagined the profile version of a fierce looking lady representing Rainier Fog and then a harsh man with the hard look picturing Bill leaning against each other's backs with Bill probably carrying a gun. The cover should also entail a somber look or quite possibly exuding a raging emotion. I advise you to consult a graphic shop, many are available on Wattpad itself. Make sure you're able to communicate your idea very well with the person who's going to work on your cover. It can be more helpful for the person to read your book first to have an idea how the story goes on. 

Grammar

I don't think there are any issues with your grammar. The book is mostly free from error. Only things I've seen are the few typos. I think you can try to copy and paste your work on Microsoft Word and you'll be able to correct them all. It's only a few that I've pointed out and it's not really a problem. This is only a solution you can try if you're having time to try some editing on the book.

Writing style

Your writing style seriously adds a lot of effect to the plot. It totally blends so well with any kind of ideas you want to include in the story. The opening of the story in the first chapter with the really good description of a dream is a very nice idea and gives out an insight on the story. I have to admit your descriptive style is what made me gush while reading this book. The way you described the sunrise effect, associating it with fruits evinces the uniqueness in your work. What I also appreciate a lot about your writing style is the fact that you pour out the emotions from the characters and make your readers feel it to the core and once you've achieved that, you know that you're off to a great path.