Malori X Vel One Shots

incorrect quotes:

Vel: WHO THE FUCK ATE MY FOOD! I WILL FUCKING KI-
malori: I did it.
Vel: KIiiiiiiiiiss you! And ask you if you want more, you haven't been eating a lot lately.

Melithia: (handing phone to vel) it's your girlfriend.
Vel: maloris not my girlfriend!
Vel: (on the phone) hey babe

Malori: nononono, you can't come in here
Vel: why not?
Malori: Ceriks naked!
Vel: WHAT!?
Cerik: ...what?
Malori: I couldn't say I was naked because vel is allowed to see me naked.
Cerik: why does anyone have to be naked?

Vel: I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb girlfriends until I got my own dumb girlfriend.
Vel: (holding maloris hand) i have only been with malori for a day and a half but if anything happens to her i will destroy the world and then myself.

Melithia: do you think malori is hot?
Vel:
Vel: i refuse to answer that question due to me being 7 centuries older.

Cerik: your partner is quite.... uhhh.... intense, aren't they?
Malori: oh, don't mind them, they're just a little overprotective is all.
Cerik: ....a little?

Malori: I'd like to remind you all how dull your lives would be without me.
Vel:
Cerik:
Melithia:
Vel & Cerik: what did you do this time?

Cerik: hey vel- woah! Are they ok!?
Vel: (laying face down on the floor) living is a curse and existing is a punishment.
Melithia: malori went on a date with princess leora.
Malori: (walking in) worst. Date. Ever. That was so damn boring.
Vel: (getting up) life is a gift and existing is a blessing.

Malori: (gets down on one knee)
Vel: oh, my god, it's finally happening.
Malori: (falls over)
Malori: i think the poison is kicking in.

Vel: (walks in the kitchen)
Malori: (sitting on top of the fridge)
Cerik: (standing on top of the stove trying desperately to climb into a cabinet)
Fenn: (sitting inside an open cabinet watching everyone)
Vel:
Malori:
Cerik:
Fenn:
Vel: what are you doing?
Malori: we are playing a game.
Vel: what game?
Malori: uhhhh, its called: 'we saw a spider and don't know where it is'
Vel: AHHHHHHH! (jumping up and down and climbs ontop of a table)

Malori: (texting Melithia) I just walked into a party and some girl yelled 'DIBS'
Vel: (also texting Melithia) I'm really drunk and some hot girl just walked into the party and i yelled 'DIBS'

Malori: (holding a box) hey vel, what would you say if i came home with.... like, five more puppies?
Vel: whats in the box?
Malori: ...
Vel: malori, whats in the box?
Malori: i think you already know.

Cerik: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Malori: Wednesay
Cerik:
Cerik: not what i had in mind but I'm flexible.

Vel: i give up.
Cerik: quick! Get the emergency supplie!
Cerik grabs malori and sits her down in front of vel
Malori: (smiles)
Vel: LETS DO THIS!