Beastly Beauty ✓

33. The Fighting Flames

33 | THE FIGHTING FLAMES

Hoseok appeared as guilt-ridden as his voice sounded all those years ago. No explanation, no comfort to offer me. Only regret in its boldest form, laced with the toxin of fear.

He was unprepared to face me, obvious in the way his gaze steered away. Everything began fitting together. There was the time Jungkook said he was being more truthful with me than Hoseok, and the moment Hoseok interrupted him when he was about to mention something I couldn't know. There was the other night, the worry I felt in Hoseok's kisses like he thought our time was limited. And the feud between the brothers as a whole was rooted in what the older stole from me—from both of us.

Why? Such an important part of my life, my identity, my heart was planted in those days with Jungkook, and I was sure with Hoseok, too. And he chose to pull it all out from under me, to let it fall apart until all that remained was me, standing alone in a void. I remembered the feelings that followed. Numb. Empty. Alone. Caught in a limbo between tangible reality and an unknown, unreachable place.

Rather than tears, there came a burn behind my eyes, my nose, my temples.

I'm tired. I'm so tired of all the secrets. When will the whole truth be given to me?

"Jangmi," said Jungkook as he tightened his hand around mine. I looked at him only for the way his voice dropped, but frowned when I found him staring downward. Following his line of sight, I gasped and flinched away from him.

My hands trembled as I lifted them, palms up, toward my face. My skin was unscathed, yet rays of pristine white light seeped through my palms like it might stream through the cracks of a broken window or filter past the surface of water.

With a reeling mind, I wondered if what I saw was real. But I could feel it too, this heat scorching within me as if every heartbeat struck a new flame.

I set my eyes on Hoseok as energy pulsed in my body. The shaking of my hands traveled to my shoulders, up my neck and down my spine, all the way through to my soles. But I couldn't stop from asking what I needed to know.

"Why did you do it?" My own voice sounded foreign to my ears, thick with demand.

Hoseok's eyes shined beneath furrowed brows. "I did it for the same reason I've done everything. To protect you—"

"How long will I have to accept that as an answer?" I broke into a yell, "When does that just become an excuse for my pain?"

"Jangmi, please." Hoseok reached out as he took a careful step closer. "You have to focus on what I'm telling you, alright? You can't get too worked up."

"That's ironic, coming from you," I said, referring to the other night when he nearly lost grip on his hidden nature.

As soon as the words left my mouth, his eyes dimmed with hurt. I'd taken it too far, used his vulnerability against him. But the shattering sense of betrayal was too heavy to allow for an apology. Rage continued to rise in me, and the platinum light brightened along with it.

Jungkook moved in front of me, blocking my view of his brother. His expression held concern, brown eyes taking in my face while his lips etched into a small frown. "I'm sorry," he murmured as he brought his hands to my face, cupping my cheeks. His palms were cool against my radiating skin. "I shouldn't have told you out of nowhere like that. I know how much it hurts." His forehead rested on mine, and I let out a breath and closed my eyes. "But we're together again. We found you. I found you."

His words and his closeness grounded me and soothed me back to clearer thoughts. Such a short time ago, Jungkook wasn't much more than a stranger. But remembering who he was gave him the power to comfort me just as he had so many times when we were kids.