Hidden Emotions|| Harry Potter x reader

Chapter 32

"If this is some cruel joke-" You started, feeling your insides flutter below your chest. Fear left your body, when relief attracted itself to you. A cruel relief. 

"It is not!" Your father repeated again because the letters were disappearing. He decided it was best to continue hurriedly. "Before Voldemort could have killed the phoenix, Snape was already there. He had collected some tears beforehand. Snape called Voldemort and told him about the phoenix-- this is when he appeared and casted the dark magic to put into the potion."

"Wait-" You breathed but your father cut you off with a sharp tilt of his head. 

"Snape gave me both, this was after we have come to the agreement. He's a messed up guy but he wanted me to decide what to do. So, I drank the potion and I gave the actual phoenix tears to Madam Pomfrey. She gave you the correct potion and that is why it took you such a long time to wake up. Bellatrix knew about you waking up. She knew that you must have drunk the potion Voldemort casted but she doesn't know what it could do. She thought it was supposed to kill you, but it didn't. That is why I had to make her believe you are the horcrux so that-"

"They won't kill me," you finished. 

He nodded. 

A sudden rush of hope lit fire into your heart. You aren't a horcrux! You wanted to smile but the gravity that your father is the horcrux took away the idea. You stared at him and after a pause, you asked, "Why did you do it?"

"I couldn't let them know! If they knew you weren't the actual-"

"No," you interrupted, "Why did you drink it? Why did you give me the right one?"

He looked away, not wanting to meet your eyes and said, "You have such a wonderful life here, Y/n. I couldn't take it away from you. You are so young and now that you are finally happy... I didn't want it to be taken away from you." 

"But now you are one," you countered, feeling even more hopeless now. 

He nodded and continued, "I know but it is okay. I had a long life." He motioned to his wrinkled face, his scars on his arms, and his graying hair. "I'm old, Y/n, so it wouldn't have made a difference. Better to save a young life than an old one." 

"Wait," you said, "They don't know you are the actual horcrux. That means they are going to kill you!" 

He nodded and smiled feebly. 

"Aren't you scared?" You interrogated, feeling as if you wanted to shout at him for even making you think for a split second how you are going to die. 

He shook his head. "Death doesn't scare me, ironically because of the fact that I didn't want to die that all of this happened." 

"I'm sorry," you apologized, feeling horrible at shunning him for it. 

He shook his head and said, "Don't apologize. But, hey, at least you aren't a horc-"

"But you are," you stated. You couldn't believe how easy and nonchalantly he is taking this. It made you feel that you had overreacted but who wouldn't? "Dad, this is bloody serious." Remembering when Malfoy shouted at you when he had the dark mark passed through your mind. You noticed how irritating he must have felt because you wanted to shake your father to get into his senses. 

"I know it is but I am not scared anymore," he reasoned, noticing that the barrier has disappeared and choosing his next words carefully. "Death doesn't scare me anymore, frankly, because I love life. Living fully made me feel well... alive. Death is just apart of it." 

You were stunned and stared at him questioningly. 

He continued, "I met the love of my life when I was here at Hogwarts. She was the most beautiful, kind and smart woman I have ever met. We had such an amazing time together and I asked her to marry me a couple of years after Hogwarts. Then we had you." He smiled while tears built up on his waterline. "You were such a troublemaker but we never stopped loving you. I will never stop looking after you, Y/n. You are my daughter but I am ready to go. I am ready to see my wife again."