"Eat it. Please."
I stated at the bowl of white rice with butter in front of me. Sitting neatly in its green ceramic bowl, a spoon placed next to it. Asher leaned over the counter opposite of me, and gently nudged the bowl closer to me. As if that would make it any more appealing.
"Do you have to stand here and watch me?" I sighed, picking up the spoon reluctantly. I spun it around a couple times in my fingers, feeling very uncomfortable. I didn't like being in my own kitchen, let alone Asher's. Even if his mom wasn't here, Mary was, just in the next room over. Asher said she was dusting, and would pay no mind to us, but it still felt strange. Now that my secrets were out in the open, I didn't know how to act around anyone, even if Asher was the only one that knew. I trusted him not to mention it to anyone else, at least for now.
After lunch we had gone back to school, neither of us in particularly good spirits. I know he was trying to be nice to me, but all that ever came across was concern. Concern that I didn't need or want. It was strange to see him like this. I was so used to him being rough, and sarcastic, sometimes mean. But lately, he's been nothing but nice, at least to me. It came across as pity, and I didn't want it.
"I feel like you'll throw it out if I don't," Asher replied.
"What happened to the Asher who didn't give a shit about anyone?" I grumbled.
"You came along," he said after a beat, looking down at me. "Since you don't take care of yourself, I'm gonna do it. And anyways, I can be as much of an asshole as I want to anyone else. In fact, I am all the time. Now eat the fucking rice."
"Asher, can you come in here?" Mary's voice echoed through the kitchen, and he sighed. After a second of hesitation, he got up to go assist her. I mentally thanked the heavens that he would be leaving me alone for even a few minutes. There was only so much staring I could take.
"When I come back, I want some of that to be gone Madeline," he warned, before backing out of the room. Once he was out of my field of view, I immediately got up with my bowl and ran over to the garbage can. Then I stopped.
Normally, I wouldn't think twice of throwing it away if my parents gave it to me or I got it from the school, but knowing that Asher was depending on me to eat it, I hesitated. Glancing back at the entryway to the living room, I heard Asher talking to Mary in his low voice, rapidly explaining something. I hoped it wasn't about me.
Slowly, I walked back to the island, bowl and all, and sat back down. Then, I took a bite. I don't remember what I ate last, nor do I remember when. That didn't matter right now anyways. All that encapsulated my brain was the sticky, slimy, white rice that I chewed at the pace of a snail. I wanted more than anything to say that it tasted disgusting. That I never wanted to take another bite. But that would be a lie. It tasted like the best thing I had ever eaten. My head was playing tricks on me. It wanted me to consume the calories, to make me fat. It wanted me to take spoonful after spoonful, and eat all of the rice until it was gone. And then it wanted to eat more, anything else that tasted good.
Then there was another part of me. The part of me I held closest, that told me to stop. That I had been listening to for months. I trusted this piece of me with my life, but Asher did not. There would be moments I would question it, but I always circled back to it in the end. I felt guilty ignoring it in this moment, but I felt even guiltier betraying Asher. So I ate the rice. Not all of it, but enough.
Asher came back into the kitchen, laughing at something Mary said to him. Without breaking his stride, he walked over to where I was sitting and peered into the bowl. I expected him to say something nice or congratulatory, but instead he went over to the garbage and looked inside that. He poked around in it for a minute while I watched, slightly humiliated he even had to do that.

YOU ARE READING
Fragile Bones
Teen FictionMadeline Winters. When people hear that name whispered in the halls of McGregor high school, they think one of two things: a quiet and somewhat awkward girl to pick on, or nothing at all. What no one realizes is that they're tearing her down with ea...