Once In A Blue Moon

10 Fragment

If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

— W. H. Auden.

☾

Storms can be frightening, surfing the nook and corner of every street like wolves on hunt, howling, warning every soul in their wake, alarming everyone of nature's fury. Storms can be destructive, powerful, reminding us of what they are capable of: turning the world upside down. Is it really the wrath of God Lord?

The windows rattle loudly and he blinks open his eyes, feeling light-headed from his sleep. The noise from the maddening weather outside keeps waking him up. Shifting in the couch, he casts a lingering look to his daughter, making sure she's peacefully asleep, before pulling up the blanket over his body and closing his eyes again. The cries of nature soon starts fading in the background as sleep takes him once more.

"Do you love me?"

"Do you doubt me?"

"Of course not. But I need to be told every now and then."

"I love you."

She smiles at his words and he naturally smiles back, putting his arm around her and hugging her to his side.

"Ask me more often and I shall tell you more often, but it will still never be enough to define the extent of my love for you."

She grins up at him. "My poet, look at you. Those literature classes at the university are taking a toll on you."

"Do you blame me?"

"Never. I don't mind you not being able to put your love for me into words. Undefined love is good; it's limitless." She twirls the ring on his ring finger, toying with it, before locking their fingers together. "I don't want you to belittle love by comparing it with anything worldly either. After all, comparison will only limit it."

"Look at you, my poet," he teases her and chuckles. She pulls away and playfully punches his arm.

"Don't mimic me. Did I say too much?"

He pulls her back to himself and kisses the side of her head. "Nothing you say is ever too much for me."

She gazes at him tenderly, the look in her eyes melting his heart to warm honey. He leans forward and nudges her nose with his.

"What?" he whispers.

She places her palm on the side of his face. "Janan zama (my love). Do you know you're the greatest blessing God has bestowed upon me?"

He only smiles.

Her expression turns serious as she mumbles, "You're virtue, I'm sin. I never deserved you."

He frowns in displeasure. "Shirin--"

She puts her hand over his mouth, shushing him. "I know you don't want to hear this, but it's the truth."

He clutches her wrist and removes her hand. "And I've told you a million times I don't want to have a conversation upon this said truth, neither with you nor anyone else."

He gets up to leave but she quickly grasps his forearm with both hands. "Why did you marry me?"

He shakes his head in disapproval and she looks at him desperately.

"Please, I know you're too good for me. If you give me an answer, I can be at peace."

"Is the fact that I love you not enough for you?" His tones comes out harsher than intended and he instantly regrets it in front of her vulnerability. He bites the inside of his cheeks and sits back down, exhaling heavily. "Nothing is too good for anyone, Shirin. What we strive for, we deserve. If there is good in it for us, we achieve it. Now don't you strive for my love?"