34 | the end of us

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50 missed calls, 100 texts and 10 voice mails to Carter go downhill with no response from his side.

When it is close to 11 pm and he still hasn't come home, my heart thumps loudly with the fear that something bad has happened to him; I feel the world around me start to spin. Melody has gone in search of him in the nearby streets but I am doubtful of whether he will be found there.

I sit on the floor of his room and lean my head on the bed, closing my eyes shut and inhaling deep breaths.

I don't know when I fall asleep but I wake up to the feeling of hot breath fanning my cheek, lips pressed to the crook of my neck, and an arm secured around my waist. The smell of alcohol hits my nose, making me gag at the scent. I push the arm around my waist away and get up to sit. I am in the bed and a large figure is occupying the space beside me.

"It's not morning yet, snippy..." Carter's heavy voice greets me in the darkness of the room.

As my eyes adjust with the help of the moonlight, I spot him letting out a yawn as he rubs his eyes. I find my phone beside my pillow and the time on the screen reads 4:00 am.

"Carter?" I call out, unsure of what to say.

He was gone all night and now he is suddenly here, cuddling me like there is no explanation to be given. On top of that, he stinks of booze.

"Come back here, Am." He pats my pillow. "Let's go to sleep."

I feel something snap inside me. I don't know if it is anger, grief, or just the feeling of him ignoring my calls and texts but I feel it all at the same time. I jump off the bed and run to switch on the light.

"Am..." he groans in frustration when the light falls on his eyes.

I move towards my school bag and bring out my water bottle. Unscrewing the lid, I walk up to him, tilt the bottle, and dump the leftover water on his face causing his eyes to snap open.

"What the fuck!" he shouts, getting up with spontaneous movements and rubbing his face with the back of his sleeves.

He is still in his leather jacket and ripped jeans that he wore to school. The clothes are muddy, his hair is messy, sticking out weirdly, and he looks anything but in his right mind.

I throw the empty bottle on the floor and stand there with my hands on my hips as he turns to face me.

"I called you," I say blankly. "You didn't pick up."

He blinks and reaches into his pocket to take out his phone. He scrolls through it while I wait.

"Shit!" he curses, raking a hand through his hair. "It was on silent."

He throws the phone on the bed and closes his eyes, tilting his neck towards the ceiling like he is trying to bring himself to his senses.

"Where were you, Carter?" I ask, my voice low because I don't want Melody to hear us.

It is raining cats and dogs outside, making it difficult to hear any other sound but we might wake her up still.

"I needed a drink," he replies, facing me again.

"You left your motorcycle at the school."

"I got suspended." He shrugs his shoulders. "I hitched a ride with one of the boys in his car instead. He took me for a drink."

He says it like it doesn't even matter anymore and that makes my skin crawl. "What's wrong with you, Carter?"

He seems taken aback by my question and furrows his eyebrows at me. "What do you mean?"

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