chapter 30

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Mahirap magsimula lalo na't hindi mo alam kung ano ba ang dapat at kailangan mong gawin para makabangon sa sakit na nararamdaman. Mahirap dugtungan ang bawat sandali kung sa una pa lang, alam mo ng tapos na, na wala na talaga. Mahirap magkunwari, nakakapagod ding umasa at magtiis kung ramdam mo ng wala na ang dating saya pag magkasama kayong dalawa. Bakit kaya gano'n?






Prologue:

" No!!! You can't leave me again babe, I won't let you "

Marahas akong bumaling sa kaniya. Inutusan niya ang lahat ng kanilang tauhan na harangan ako, nagulat ako sa ginawa niya pero mas nanaig ang takot ko ng makita ang itsura niya. Kung kanina para siyang bata kung umiyak, ngayon naman, para siyang demonyo. Nakangise ito habang tinitingnan akong napapalibutan ng mga tauhan niya.

" You can't force me Zach, I'm not an innocent Aira that you knew, you can't fool me this time "

Binalingan ko ang mga tauhan niya. Mga higit sampu yata ang nakapalibot sa akin, and I assume na meron pang nakabantay sa labas ng bahay na ito.

" Really???

May panunuya niyang sabi. I bite my lips realizing how hopeless I am right now. But I don't want him to think that I'm scared, he will take more advantage just to satisfy, and I won't let him.

" You see...sweetheart, it's been years that I let you go to stand on your own and chase your dreams and I think it's enough, it's time for you to return to the place where you should be in the first place "

Lumapit siya sa akin ng makita niya akong natulala sa sinabi niya. Akmang aatras ako ng hinawakan niya ang bewang ko ng mahigpit. I attempt to move but it will make him hold me closer like our distance is not enough for him. I can even smell his breath, still the same, my favorite. ' oh my god!!! Aira stop fantasizing!!!

" I miss you " three words and eight letters but it melt my heart. Napahinto ako. I wanna say I miss you too but I'm hurt. Gusto kong sabihin iyon sa kaniya pero hindi ko magawa. I can't even utter the words I wanted to say because of his sudden act. How I wish I could turn back the time and make a wish. Then maybe everything is fine.

PRESENT:

" Jennie!!!

I roll my eyes. Ahhh!!! I'm still sleepy I wanted to sleep more. " Give me five more minutes please!!!. I hug my pillow and tried to sleep again.

" Your going to be late if you keep asking five more minutes again!!! Please be prepared before I grab you by myself, and I bet you haven't yet in your proper state so you better be!!!

" Can you reschedule my concert ate?

Bang...bang

Napabangon ako ng wala sa oras dahil sa ingay. Nagulat ako ng makita ang pinto. Did she really kick it? Napalunok ako. Oh my!!! Ginalit ko na talaga siya.

" What the fuck!!!!

" Language please "

I roll my eyes.

" For the last time, please be prepared and make sure you're in sane before I do things that you won't like. And.... don't say five more minutes again, that's a rule " that was she said before leaving me.

Ahhh!!!! Can I have a time to rest??? This world tour concert is making me crazy. ( Relax self, this will be the last country, my last performance then I can have a vacation day )

______________________________________

Pagdating sa venue, agad akong dinaluhan ng make-up artist at stylist ko. Maingay ang paligid, maraming camera ang nakatutuk sa akin. Rinig ko din ang sigaw nga mga fans sa akin. It makes me smile that they enjoy my songs. Pagkatapos nila akong ayusan lumapit si ate sa akin, ang manager ko.

" This is it, have fun on stage and let your voice stand out " she smile at me.

Tumango lang ako. Inhale... exhale...
Ilang taon ko ng ginawa to pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na kabahan.

Kaya mo Yan Aira...

Sumenyas ang manager na kailangan ko ng pumasok. Let get this over.

" Let's all welcome Jennie!!!

' Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?

Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real...

Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?

Why'd you turn away?

Here's what I have to say...

I was left to cry there,

Waiting outside there,

Grinnin' with a lost stare,

That's when I decided....

Why should I care?

Cause you weren't there when I was scared,

I was so alone...

You, you need to listen!

I'm starting to trip,

I'm losin' my grip,

And I'm in this thing alone...

This is my job, this is my distraction to forget him... at least. And I hope it will also mend my broken hearts.

" Hello America!!!!

I heard them shouting my name everywhere.

Naglalakad ako sa gitna ng stage na hingal na hingal. I cannot breath properly due to my last performance. Kinuha ko ang tubig na binigay ng management.

" This would be my last performance and my last song that I'm going to sung tonight, and I hope you will like it.

Umupo ako sa may piano, dumilim ang stage at bahagyang tumahimik ang lahat.

' I always needed time on my own I never thought

I'd need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie

Is made up on your side

When you walk away

I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

When your gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When your gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When your gone

The words I need to hear

To always get me through the day

And make it ok, I miss you

Bahagyang tumulo ang luha ko ng maisip ko siya. Throughout the years, I never forget him, many times I tried but I failed. And it hurts to think that he's ok without me. And I hope I feel the same.

" We were made for each other

Out here forever

I know we were, yeah yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I do

I give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe

I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When your gone

The pieces of my heart is missing you

When your gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When your gone

The words I need to hear

To always get me through the day

And make it ok, I miss you

Nang unti-unti ng sumira ang stage ay bahagya kong pinunasan ang luha ko. It's been five years but I'm not fine, I'm always hurt and lonely...

I miss you Zachary....

My stepbrother obsessionTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon