Deprived

Chapter 34 - Slow and steady

Warmth spread soothingly through his hands as Jesse cradled the cup of hot cocoa between his fingers. As the steam circled up from the rim of his cup, Jesse's tired eyes moved away from the swirling contents and towards the window.

It was raining outside, fat droplets tapping against the window in a steady rhythm. Jesse didn't quite know if he was the cause of this weather or if it was all natural.

However, he enjoyed it for once. There was something soothing about looking at the rain outside, hearing it tap against the windows and roof, smelling the pleasant scent of petrichor.

The heat of the cup that barely burned his fingers, stung without being too painful, was offset by the cool shivers from the weather.

Blowing before taking a sip, Jesse sighed at the smooth richness that coated his tongue. A rare treat that he allowed himself to have for the first time since....

He blinked, trying to remember when the last time was that he sat down and relaxed with a cop of hot chocolate.

I... I can't quite... remember...

However, the memory came, sharp and painful. Last time he relaxed with a cup of hot cocoa in his hands, he had been pouting. Because James had made him a cup of hot cocoa instead of his regular Jasmine tea.

A silly attempt of James to get him off his addiction of Jasmine tea, that was equally as bitter as it was sweet.

It had made Jesse pout and protest, especially when James had jokingly referred to his addiction to "Hot leaf juice." The Pixie had instantly retorted that if his mate was allowed to drink his morning coffee , a cup of hot bean juice, he was allowed his cup of tea.

It was a pleasant memory... A happy one, and yet that made it hurt even more so. Because it gave a glimpse of the future, a future they could've expanded and built on.

A future that was denied, brutally so. It had been handed to Jesse, the one gift he ever wanted in life. And when he had embraced it, held it close and lovingly to his chest, someone had walked by and carelessly ripped it away.

Even worse, right on his birthday. For the rest of his miserably long life, Jesse would always be remembered that he lost everything he ever dreamt about.

His fingers clenched around the mug, trembling until he placed the mug beside him on the table. Jesse didn't want to spill the contents all over his lap, over the warm and fuzzy blanket that was tucked around him, or the soft fabric of the seat below him.

He didn't know if he would get punished for it if he did, and he wasn't willing to test and find out.

Instinctively, Jesse knew these Improba weren't like that. He, like many of the Deprived, had initially believed that these Improba were playing tricks. Waiting for the Deprived to lower their guard, to feel warm and secure.

Only to make it hurt that much more when they finally pounced.

However, the Improba, incubi, succubae, hellhounds and other beings that guarded over them, only had their health in mind.

They wanted everyone to slowly recover, at their own pace. Ever so slowly, gently, step by step. Until they were mostly whole.

Because they couldn't fool Jesse. Losing something as sacred as your mate, to have such a large part of your being ripped away from you...

You can never be the same.

Jesse jolted when the doorbell rang. Even though the sound wasn't the sharp buzz he had grown accustomed to in his own flat, it still made the pixie jump.