COMRADES • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 28: Damage Control ⁿˢᶠʷ

(warning: nsfw, smut)

nsfw warnings: rough sex, oral sex (fem receiving)

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AFTER YOUR HEART BROKE, you bled an ocean through your eyes. Your soul felt wafer thin, body trembling and chilling. Yet even the magnitude of grief managed to pass, and you somehow forced your body to stand up and drag yourself to the shower rooms to fix your appearance, no matter how sluggish you felt. The first thing you did was make a beeline for the sink and splash cold water onto your puffy face.

You look like shit, you half-heartedly scolded yourself, taking notice of your blotchy skin and red eyes as droplets of cold water ran down your cheeks. Get it together, soldier.

Trust and respect, two of the most important foundations required for a strong relationship. Unfortunately it seemed as though you had both contravened to keep them steady this morning.

As you changed into your uniform, you began to properly gather your thoughts. Yes, the way you had handled him finding the letter had been poorly executed, and it had also been a mistake of yours to have hidden it away from him.

You were done with being constantly embarrassed, done with feeling like a fool. This fallout was a nightmare painted as completely false, just part of his insecure imagination.

Still, it had been an awful misunderstanding on both sides. You were both equally hurt and for valid reasons. There would be much explaining to do, but you couldn't bring yourself to face him just yet.

Your heart and pride may have been severely wounded by that implication that you were a native of Marley, but you refused to give anyone the satisfaction of having successfully shot you down. He might have been affectionate to you these past few days and weeks, but none of that meant anything if what he was saying was true after what just happened. You did not owe anyone anything, and you did not owe anyone your love as long as they held no respect in their heart for you.

It hurt. It really hurt. You didn't even know if it was appropriate to say that you and Eren were in a proper relationship just yet, but it felt as though you had just dumped each other.

Either way, you couldn't allow yourself to sit down and cry. You had to get up and get moving because you were a soldier. The emotions would have to be repressed for now.

But it still really hurt.

You headed down to the mess hall for breakfast, and to your disdain the first thing you took notice of was that a gloomy Eren was already there, your seat beside him empty. Before his eyes could turn to you though, you were already brushing past the table to get your meal tray, barely acknowledging his existence as if he were invisible.

You could feel his eyes on you as you headed to line for your breakfast. You forced your facial muscles to relax so that you were wearing a bored expression, as if nothing interesting had gone on in the past twenty-four hours. A few soldiers, boys and girls, sitting at their tables gave you nonchalant waves as you passed by, which you returned with a small smile. It seemed as though everyone was now used to your reappearance. And even if you had been absent for quite a while, you were still rather popular among those in the military.

You wondered if Eren was watching. And if he was, you wondered if it made him feel a twinge of jealousy. Or sadness. Or anger.

Please just talk to me.

Once you got ahold of your food and broke out of your thoughts, you realized that a familiar problem had arised: where were you going to sit?

You inwardly groaned. Not this again.