Fine Line

15.

Tanner.

It was Monday and we had to head back, we both have an early class Tuesday morning and plus I need to figure shit out on if I want to ask her to be my girlfriend or not.

Mom remembers today and that is good. I was happy she could. I needed to talk to her about Chase. I don't know what I am doing, but I need my mother.

"I am going to miss you my boy." She hugs me softly

"Yeah, mom I am going to miss you too." Ive come to to terms with her condition.

"So what is on your mind?" She presses her lips together.

"Well, I want to talk about Chase I like her mom but I can't date and I want her to be my girlfriend but baseball is what I'm focused on because I need that stability." Playing with my hands

"Son let me tell you something, people come and go in our lives sometimes we waste the good with the wrong people and then there are the ones who change our outlooks on what life is really about, and Chase is your better out look in life." Mom takes a hold of my hand "You have never been this happy in your entire life, baseball hasn't made you this happy ever I know you love the game and you want that life but sometimes the game isn't as important."

"Mom what if I choose the wrong thing, what if I let her go  and pick baseball."

"Tanner, if baseball was the only thing you cared about Chase wouldn't be here in our home, Chase wouldn't be the reason for that smile and this conversation...I want you to do something ignore her all day go one day without texting, talking, and thinking about her see if you can do it and if you can then you have your answer, but if you can't then you also have your answer."

Ignore her? Oh god no I don't think I could ever do that...I don't think I would get through that. We talk everyday.

"I see Chase in your future and that makes me happy." Mom kisses my cheek "I love you son, and it makes me happy you found another person you can love."

As we said our goodbyes, Chase and I were off. I did stop by cvs to get her a plan b and us some drinks. "I need to get condoms if we are going to have sex."

"I agree, I do need any children right now and well if we were to have a kid if this gets serious I want to wait till our dreams get going." She smiles

"Yeah, I don't want children for a long time I know my mom wants me to have her a grand baby but I'm not ready plus I'd be a shit father." Shaking my head

"Don't think you'd be a shit father but I do think waiting is definitely a good thing." She laughs

"I'm gonna make you a promise..."

"Don't make me any promises, you attend on breaking."  She blurts out

"Chase, I promise you if I want any children and we are still together when I want them you'll be the first person."  I pulled into the apartment parking lot.

"Tanner, i don't see us getting out of each other's life anytime soon." She smiles

I helped her carry her bags inside, and her heart admittedly dropped.