Chapter 21 - It's Okay To Be A Loose End

1.4K 126 1
                                    

Chapter 21

"What was that?" Zhang demands after Calvin and Andrew are gone. "I'm dating your best friend!"

"S-sorry!" I exclaim. "I don't know why I did that." My cheeks are burning, and the regret fills me up. Only now does it occur to me how selfish I've been acting. Zhang might have been my friend once, but now he's Lana's boyfriend. I haven't been treating her like a real friend or respecting that Zhang feels no attachment to me.

"Look, I'm sorry too," Zhang rolls his eyes like he can't believe that I'm losing it. He starts backing up like if he sees any sign of waterworks, he will make a run for it. "You're just not my type, and I'm in love with Lana. Not you."

"Okay, okay," I stammer. "Look, I get it. I don't like you either."

After that kiss, things are weird between Zhang and me. Lana is still stuck on the train. I can't go out and have tea with the two of them after what happened with Calvin. I excuse myself, saying that I suddenly have a headache (darn the humidity here) and need to go home.

Zhang is understanding now that a possible exit is in sight. He says because Lana is so late, and I have to be at the hospital tomorrow, we should reschedule for another time. He abruptly walks away and leaves me alone by the lake at the center of Yuyuan Garden.

As I walk to the subway station, I feel a torrent of emotions. I am both devastated by Calvin's betrayal and sorry that I kissed Lana's boyfriend. I don't know why I came back here to completely screw up what had once been a fond childhood memory. Now, I've kissed Zhang, who I only wanted to be friends with, even as I was in love with another boy.

To make matters worse, as I walk past a make-up store with the world's cheeriest Sanrio stuffed animals on display, I hear a familiar voice blaring from the speakers.

"I am telling you again that my love for you will never fade," it's Fang Yao singing again. "Even if we've been parted for five thousand years."

The man is everywhere. I see girls pausing by the speakers, eating crushed ice with mochi and tapioca pearls. They're giggling and nodding their heads to the song. And for some reason, I'm overcome with rage. Not just at Fang and his unrealistic ideals of love, but at all love songs for teaching me to hope, yearn, and believe that I could have a stud like Calvin Suzuki. I almost want to take a permanent marker and scrawl on the TV monitor in the store's window showing Fang's dreamy face that he is a liar. All men are liars. I don't believe in love songs. Or in love, for that matter.

~*~

Early next week, Fang shows up much later than his standing appointment time slot on Monday. He doesn't come by until around three in the afternoon, and his appointment was for noon. Dr. Chen has long since left for a departmental meeting about new billing practices when Fang drags his sad sack of bones into our waiting room.

"You're three hours late for your appointment, and Dr. Chen left for the day."

"Why are you yelling at me?" Fang leans back and rubs his temples. "Stop shouting."

"Okay," I lower my voice to a whisper and lean in closer. I catch a whiff of whiskey and sweat off his damp shirt. He looks as though he hasn't showered in twenty-four hours and his mopey tone tells me he's been down to the bottom of every last bottle in his house. Even so, when he lounges back in his chair and shows off a glimpse of his perfect chest, he still looks like a magazine ad. The boy is a natural. Even now, he doesn't have a single bad angle. Bad smells, on the other hand, that's a different story. I never liked the smell of alcohol. Maybe it reminds me too much of marijuana which broke up my parents' marriage. "Dr. Chen can't see you today. Want to come back Friday?"

The Popstar & MeWhere stories live. Discover now