16. As Gay as It Gets [Part 2]

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"You're not in trouble."

Ari screwed up her nose, clearly wondering if she could believe her mother. She was perched on top of the armrest, blue eyes flickering between the both of us, legs swinging and slamming into the side of the chair with every second. "Then why are you like this?" she asked, drawing an invisible circle around Elizabeth and me.

We were on the couch, her with her hands on her thighs, fingers spread and tense, me leaning over in Ari's direction, my elbows on my knees. I forced myself to sit up straight, hoping it would be less alarming, and took a deep breath. Everything was going to be fine. Ari was going to be fine. I was going to be fine.

I stole a glance at Elizabeth, her face white as a sheet, her lips a thin line. Neither of us had said anything about the drawing yet, not after the bomb Wishi had dropped on us, but I wondered if she was thinking about it now, like I was. Maybe I'd crossed some invisible boundary, had hugged the kids one too many times, given them one too many sloppy kisses, received one too many in return. Maybe the nanny wasn't supposed to be present for serious conversations like this one, only she had looked so lost — and so relieved when I'd granted her a small smile, promising her we'd talk to Ari about it together. Her shoulders loosening; that wasn't something I'd imagined. I remembered months ago, her snapping at me for saying the kids would've wanted her to come to the zoo. It hadn't been my place then— was it now?

"Because," I said, in my calmest, most gentle voice, "your teacher told us what happened with you and that boy, Graham."

Ari placed her hands on her hips, cocking her head. Her wild, honey-brown hair stuck in all directions, having escaped from her ponytail, and it fell to her back now. "He started it," she said. "He's a bigot! So, what? I told him to stop." She shrugged. "He didn't stop, so I made him stop. That bonehead had it coming. I warned him twice before I even threw the stone." Her lips lifted up in a self-satisfied smirk for a second, then disappeared promptly, giving the both of us a sly look.

I nodded. "Well, that's good," I said, and I felt Elizabeth stir beside me — if I'd look to my left, I'd surely find her scowling at me. "No means no, like we talked about. It's his own fault that he didn't listen."

Ari's face lit up, and for once, she sat still, her gaze traveling to her mother, waiting for her to say something. Elizabeth didn't, though, seemingly transfixed. Her chest was moving up and down rapidly, and she was breathing a little too heavily, like the air had become too thick to inhale. Without thinking about it, I moved my hand, resting it on the couch beside her — she'd noticed, staring at it for a moment before shifting her focus to Ari once again.

"So," I continued, "do you want to tell us what Graham was doing that you didn't want?"

Ari shrugged again.

I glanced at Elizabeth. She still didn't give any signs of having anything to say — an unnatural situation, to say the least. I inclined my head, silently nudging her to take over. She was Ari's mom, Ari loved her, and I knew for sure it'd be best if she'd be asking the question. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth. "Miss Yengde," she began, then straightened her shoulders. "Miss Yengde told us that he was bullying you. And that he called you names."

The sharp brows on her small, delicate face furrowed, and again, she shrugged. "Yeah," she said, "he used the bad f-word. Not the one you say when you hit your head, mom, but the really forbidden one."

I scratched my hair, trying to come up with the word she meant, when there was a sudden chuckle beside me. "I think she means the slur. For gay men." She seemed a little braver now, and with a start, I felt the back of her hand brush mine, sending sparks all the way up my arm.

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