𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ✔︎

||18||

The camp days were hectic, tiring and meaningless. I was fighting for something I didn't even desired. Patriotism is not an easy word,it took a lot to fill my heart with that word out of so many blunderful emotions. In a heart,where I kept broken memories and desires— how could I have focused on missions of a professional life? Yet,it was a human emotion I had to ace at any cost. Indeed,Allah made it easy for me.

However who could count those sleepless nights other than Almighty,when my heart wanted to rip the vessels of chest and come out to touch a glimpse of my Ma? Of my loved wife?

Had I found anyone except my Creator in those moonlights of melancholy?

Never.

And that's what kept me steady, soothed my desires and barriered my worries.

After a bundle of missions was being operated in the army camp,I was totally torn apart from their attention. There was no one but my friend Babar,who accompanied me in recreating from gloominess. He welly knew,I was pushed into depression like someone is pushed in from a mountain. There were no escape climbing up and keep falling over hopelessness. Everything seemed like a vague and blurry in front of my eyes, it all looked unreal,as if it was going to end very soon. It didn't at any means though.

It is vague in my memory,the day before our encounter at the final operation. Babar came to me with a letter in his muscled hands. I didn't expect anyone would write to me as there was no one on whom I would expect to write me. It surprised me firstly. There were also enthusiasm and excitement if by chance Husna had wroten to me. But at the lowest chances the letter was not from Husna. It was from someone I never imagined in even dream. It was from my brother,Helal. Unenveloping it, my heart skipped a beat.

Bilal,

I don't know how are you even staying there so worrilessly!
I went to your house as I said but I don't think I will ever go there again. You have broken our trust and proved yourself useless one more time. After all this years,I thought you could be a little more matured and know how life works. Unfortunately you failed brother!

I thought you were clever enough to marry a village girl to serve and nurse Ma,I thought you could ace that girl welly...I thought you had become matured and finally found a proper servant. But bhai,you brought a bitch in the house. She is of no use— neither she  is good for our Ma. She abused your bhabi and demolished us. She got your own brother oust of the your house. Do you think she is suitable for us? And she can assist our Ma? How irresponsible you have proved yourself! We are going back to abroad,with all the hopes I came here are now shattered into pieces. Do not call me before you get your bloody wife out of the house and if anything happens to our Ma,I will forget what relationship I share with you. Mind that.

Your brother,
Helal.

The blood in my veins was erupting abruptly. Whether to believe or not kept piercing my mind. Inconstancy perceived me hardly and there was a rage within myself I could not control. I teared apart the letter into pieces and hit the helmet made of army print which wounded my knuckles with crimson blood and a groan left my glib out of sensational pain. Just how the letter was teared apart,my heart was too. I could not bear that bitter words that estimated me wrong,apprehended my guts as useless and made a disgust of who I loved.

I was pulverized.

Assalamualaikum.

As this book has left only a few chapters I decided to update it :) Hope you all are doing well in this Ramadan.