Childish

4

Kelsey and Robert were kind people. They loved each other. It was obvious in the way they moved in sync with one another. And they wanted to give that love to me.

Kelsey held me in her arms, swaying back and forth, after giving me a bath. She had her hair pulled back, thin strands tucked behind her ears. She was beautiful and young but she wasn't my mother.

But I clung to her regardless. These people didn't know how awful Alpine was. They didn't understand the horrible things I'd endured or the pain I felt. They were either clueless or playing a game. Either way, they acted as if nothing was wrong.

After crying for the third time that day, Kelsey held me in her arms, against her chest. She walked around my room slowly, trying to help me fall asleep. She lifted the pacifier that was clipped to my pajama top and held it against my lips. "Baby, don't cry for mommy."

I turned my head away from the pacifier.

"Lyla, I'm only trying to help you. I think you'll feel better after you get some rest."

I wrapped my arms around her neck. Her warm skin pressed against my cheek. I wanted to be able to trust her and feel comfortable around her. But I was scared of everything. I didn't know who I could trust.

She rubbed my back, chasing out the final few hiccups I had left in me. "Can you take your paci for me?"

I opened my mouth and let her slip the nipple between my lips.

"There you go, sweetie." She started to walk toward my crib to lay me down. I tightened my grip on her shirt and shook my head. "Lyla, it's time for bed."

I whined and pointed at the door.

"Do you want to sleep with mommy and daddy tonight?"

I nodded, rubbing away the tears that lingered on my face.

She kissed the top of my head and walked out of my room, turning the light off as we exited. She went across the hall into her bedroom and sat me down on the bed. Robert was already in bed, a thick magazine sitting in his lap.

I crawled up to the pillows and kicked at the blanket until I could get my legs under it. I looked at the magazine he was reading and saw it was a catalog with various gifts and items to look at. I hadn't seen one of those since I was little.

He started to turn the page but I put my hand on the right side. I flattened my hand over a picture of a Christmas tree that was decorated with everything you could think of. It was beautiful.

"Christmas is coming up soon. Mommy and daddy are going to get the tree out later this week."

I should have been doing that with my parents. Mom would have put up all the handmade ornaments I made over the years. She would have put the ornament with our picture in it right up front. I wanted those days back. Not the ones with these strange, new people.

I pulled my hand back and laid back against the pillows. I didn't cry but I definitely felt like I could.

---

I woke up in their bed alone the next morning. I stared at the clock beside the bed, watching as the green numbers changed from 7:36 to 7:37. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to go to school and act like everything was fine.

I sat up and glanced around the room. There wasn't much personality to the room. A chair sat in the corner that looked to be collecting dust. Two bedside tables sat on either side of the bed with various items on the top. A door led to the bathroom but it was shut all the time so I couldn't get in it.

I crawled to the side of the bed and looked down. The floor was covered with carpet meaning my drop wouldn't be as painful as normal. Since I couldn't use my legs to stand, I had to fall. The risk of getting hurt was always in the back of my mind.

Taking a deep breath, I slid off the bed, gripping the blanket tight in my fingers. I swung to the side and landed on my butt, which was probably the best way to land as it was covered with a soft diaper.

I crawled to the door and rose onto my knees. I tried to reach for the doorknob but couldn't even touch it with the tips of my fingers.

My eyes scanned around the room, trying to find a lifeline. I wasn't sure what I was looking for exactly. But my eyes landed on a phone being charged beside the bed and a lightbulb went off in my head.

I crawled over to it and leaned back against the bed as I turned it on. It didn't take a password which gave me access to it.

I opened the phone app but stared at the screen. I didn't know Alex's number. I didn't know my parents' numbers, either. At least, not their new ones. I had no idea who to call and calling the police wasn't going to do a damn bit of good.

I clicked on the contacts and the first contact was Alpine Lobby. My shoulders relaxed and I clicked on it, making sure it sent out the call before I lifted the phone to my ear. I had to use both hands to hold it up.

"Alpine Laboratories, this is Naomi speaking. How can I help you?"

I sighed in relief. Naomi. If there was anyone who could help me, it was her. At least... for now. "Naomi, I-"

"Can I help you?"

I couldn't tell her who I was. She didn't know what was going on. She didn't know that something was wrong and I certainly couldn't alert her to a problem. I cleared my voice and tried again. "Hi, Naomi. I'd like to speak to a Pediatrician there. I believe her name is Monica. She's been seeing my daughter and I had a question about a medication she was prescribed."

Naomi paused. "I'll you transfer you to her line. If she's not in, you can leave a voicemail or try again in a little bit."

"Thank you."

The phone rang as it transferred me from Naomi's line to Monica's. I could only pray that Monica was there and could answer her phone. From there, I only had so long to explain what was going on and get help.

"Monica Owens, how can I help you?"

"Monica!"

"Lyla, is that you?"

"Monica, I need your help."

"Lyla, why are you calling me? Where... What..."

"Alex... I don't know where Alex is. I-I'm not with him anymore."

"What are you... I haven't seen Alex in days. Is he okay? Are you okay?"

"I don't know. Mr-Your dad said that he was in trouble because he didn't follow the rules."

Monica's words were tense when she spoke. "I knew this was going to happen."

"Can you help me find him? I-I can't..." I heard the steps creak outside the bedroom and my heart stilled. That was around the same time I noticed the small baby monitor on the bedside table. The light was green, meaning it was on.

Meaning I was toast.

I quickly hung up and put the phone back where I found it. I tried lifting myself onto the bed but I couldn't climb back up.

And I was out of time.

As the door opened, I forced tears into my eyes and started crying. I rolled so I was facing the carpet, making it look like I'd fallen off the bed.

Kelsey walked around the side of the bed and picked me up in her arms. "Baby, did you fall out of bed?"

I hid my face in her chest.

She patted my back. "It's okay, baby. Mommy's here." She walked out of the room and went to my room. She didn't mention the phone call. Maybe she didn't hear it. Maybe I was in the clear.

I could only hope so.