Love To Hate You (EDITING)

thirty seven - "Please don't leave me"

W I L L O W

As an only child I was always so jealous of the other kids and their siblings. I watched them fight over each other's toys, I watched them protect each other from the bad kids and I watched them play together and have fun. I was always sitting on the grass, with my doll that I never had to fight over and just watched them.

I felt so lonely at those times and I know that people complain over their siblings but I always wanted one. I didn't grow up with many friends, there was this one girl at one point -Sarah- but she moved away when we were nine and I was just lonely ever since. Parents never wanted their kids to hangout with me -even when we got older- since Springdale was a small village everyone basically knew each other very well and since I was the little troublemaker of town, no one wanted their kids to come near me and get an ugly attitude from me.

Staring at Elijah right now after accepting the water he brought me and being completely silent about the truth I just found out my heart can't stop breaking over and over again.

"Hey? You've been extra quiet since I came back? Do you need another hug? You look really pale? Did something happen?"

Is it the blood connection making him so worried? I internally smiled at his protective state and his eyes shining with worry. This is how those kids felt didn't they? Protected. Loved. Whole.

Yes, we didn't share the same dad but he was still my big brother. Oh, my god! Elijah was my brother! I can't get over it. He's here. My brother? He's here!

"Yeah...I think I need a hug" I murmured and Elijah laughed, for a short second he looked just like my...our... mother with his dimples showing for the first time. Guess he got the good genes.

We hugged, and I closed my eyes and processed what was happening and saved the moment in my head and it was playing over and over on repeat. The tears I tried to hold back burned through my eyes and fell down my cheeks. I was in such a weak state and in shock? I was embarrassed and angry with myself.

Even at such a situation like this I was ashamed that I was once again being crushed by these overwhelming feelings. I hated showing feelings and I hated knowing that people knew that I had weaknesses. But I have to let myself know that Elijah, he's not just someone, he's my FREAKING BROTHER. Whew! I'm still not over it.

"Oh come on! Why are we crying again? Talk to me, I'm worried about you!" Elijah said when we broke our hug.

"It's nothing...really I'm just overwhelmed. There's way too much happening in my life right now and I've never been through so much ever so it took a lot harder on me than I thought it would" I said and he nodded but smirked right after.

"You know that brother of yours, I bet he's so hot, like looking at you I just know that he's going to be a bomb hottie with a smart mouth" he said, the smirk coming right back on his face.

Well, about that...Apparently he loves music too Elijah... I thought internally and laughed out loud.

"There it is! You should laugh more sis, you get wrinkles faster if you cry and I don't want to walk on the street with a granny face" he joked but my heart stopped.

"Sis?" I asked and he looked confused at my question.

"Yeah sis? Duh, I call every girl friend of mine, sis! Sis, get used to it already." he said and I started breathing again. Oh, gosh! I thought he was onto me.

I know exactly what you're thinking. You're probably judging me really hard right now. First I don't speak a word about Victor to my mom and now I won't even tell my alive and breathing brother who's standing right in front of me that he's my brother. But I'm not ready myself! I can't put Eljah through this. He grew up knowing that his mother died and I can't do this to him, right now when he's happy. I have to find a way to tell my mom first and fuck, how will I tell her about everything I've been keeping from her without making her hate me.

"Do you have any cigarettes with you?" I asked Elijah and his eyes widened.

"I'm not letting you smoke," he said and I rolled my eyes.

"Come on don't be such a grown up, just give me one or I'll ask the other guys" I smiled sneakily and he passed me a lighter and one cigarette as he looked at me with a smile.

"Don't turn it into a habit, please" he said and I nodded.

"I promise, I'm just going to go out and smoke"

"Okay, it's cold and dark outside so bring your phone and a blanket" he said and I nodded again and walked outside.

I was sitting on the bench and counting the stars while crushing the last part of the cigarette under my shoe when I saw a figure walking towards me.

It was dark and I didn't have my contact lenses on so I had a hard time seeing who it was so I waited until the person got a bit closer. God, this person walks so slow.

Wait, this person looks way too familiar.

"Sargent?"

He was standing right in front of me now and I was too shocked to form a sentence and he was awfully quiet too?

"What are you doing here? Are you back already? Why didn't you call us? I missed you so much, I-I needed you so much but you're here no-" I couldn't end my sentence because Sargent suddenly fell right on the ground with a loud thud and I just watched him in shock.

"Sargent!?" I was trying to understand what was happening when I looked at his hand holding on to his stomach.

I moved his hand from the place his unconscious body was holding on to and the next thing I saw made me scream like I've never screamed before.

"SARGENT! HELP! GUYS! ELIJAH! GRAY! HELP! CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

He had been shot. Sargent was shot.

"Please don't leave me" I whispered and held on to his hand.

Please, god. I don't want to lose him.

I'm not even gonna lie I missed Sargent...lol. 

I hope you liked todays chapter (37) because I really liked writing it especially since Sargent is back...well in bad shape but...yeah hehe.

Have an amazing day and don't forget to vote and write down your thoughts on todays chapter hihi:)))

AND Ramadan Mubarak to everyone who's celebrating <3 Also I hope your fasting goes very well this Ramadan! 

It's 1:25 where I live so I have to go to sleep now hahaha. 

Loooooots of love// D.E

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 55K READERS??? YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!! <3