Chapter Twenty One

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Ayana's Pov
A normal conversation with Ivar? That should be simple right, I would have hope so with thinking of calm ways, but every time I approached him. I just grew angry and boiling with rage to the point I just would storm off, pressing my hand onto my cheek, dinner was how it always went all the brothers bringing their wives, well just laughter and jokes around the table and drink laughter in the feasting hall.

I jumped slightly when I felt someone nudge me. "What's wrong Ayana you've been quiet." I was taken back by Hvitserk whispering to me quietly. I was quick to force a smile at him, brushing my curls away.

"I'm fine." I answered, he tilted his head at me over the laughter but I refused to stare at Ivar. I focused my eyes on Ivar watching Kari walked by the table filling up the cups. Ivar looked up at her a smile growing on his face while she flashed him a smile grinning giggling softly.

"Thank you." Ivar told her lifting it up to drink. Don't lose your cool Ayana you are gonna be fine I just kept telling myself that.

"You're welcome my king." She propped her hip on the table.

"Alright I have some announcements." Ivar called out.

"Is Ayana pregnant a-" I was quick to speak.

"No I am not, probably not for a while." I answered firmly. Bjorn pressed his fist in his chin.

"So of course there's no problems between me and my queen, no one can every take her place or the love I have for her, yet I have decided I'll be having a second wife, you all know Kari... She will no longer be a thrall," I heard the hardest choke from Ubbe staring at Ivar in shock.

"Ivar have you gone insane? You don't need a second Ayana is perfect as queen, and for having children or have you forgot about that?" Ubbe called after his coughing fit.

"Its disrespectful to your queen and you know it. " Bjorn stated sternly.

"What's bad about having Kari as a second wife, it's a small connection and fucking." He grinned bringing her close, she let a small laugh out casually falling into his lap when he placed her there.

"I hope we get to be good sister wives Ayana." It was hard to read my facial expressions, but I couldn't help it, a loud laugh left me, and I couldn't help it but let each laugh out before I looked at her standing up.

"No, no listen Kari, I'm sorry that was amusing to me, we will never be sister wives because honestly why did it take me so long to realize this." I spoke through my laugh running my hands lightly to mess with my curls.

"What kind of life is this? Huh? What kind of cycle is this to be moved around in a circle with a man, I laugh no." I snapped out gazing at her fully. "I'm not fighting for the love of attention for a man, hell it's not worth it." I spoke through my soft laughter.

"Ayana." He spoke but I spoke over him. "No don't speak you've spoken enough, you can have her. She can have you I'm not fighting for you just not worth my time anymore." I shrugged my shoulders back exhaling a long deserved exhale.

"Should have listened to Eerika from the beginning, this isn't my home, it never was... So... It's gonna hurt to leave it, leave you." I yanked the crown off my head tossing it to the floor hearing it shatter.

"Make her a new crown she doesn't deserve mine, let her bare your kids." I chuckled looking down at the ring I was so hesitant all these little things flashing through my head.

"Ayana who do you think you are! You don't get to leave me you bitch! You don't get to take my children have you lost your mind!" I listened to Ivar's shouts before I shifted my eyes up chuckling I slide the ring off slamming it into the ground watching it shatter I scoffed out.

"You don't get to control me anymore not like this... You don't get that anymore.. I'll still love you Ivar I always will you were the first man I gave myself to. But...." Another scoff left me.

"Go to hell Ivar." I scoffed out spinning around I felt the heavy weight on my heart but my shoulders  felt lifted. I ignored his loud shouts at me and even stared at the guards who didn't even stop me everyone was just staring in shock.







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"Well aren't these little ones strong ones... They have strong bones but they have his eyes... Be careful on the future they might have his temper." I watched Lagertha with close eyes, it was not a lie being in the presence of one of the best shield maidens in the world was nerve racking but she lived on the outskirts of Kattegat wanting a peaceful live and for now Ivar was giving her that.

"And that little one she's just as strong as her mother she'll be fierce, I'm happy you came to see me Ayana I think you are doing the right thing going back to your home place, Ivar is erratic always been selfish." She spoke gently handing me back the boys I carefully placed them in the large furs while Rúne was tugging on her dress to sit in her lap, which she carefully lifted her up allowing her to.

"I was just so hopeful... That me being enough was to change him, for him to love me but it was a foolish thought." I muttered.

"Very foolish thought, a man will always keep their ways Ayana, I can relate to you in some levels, I was Raganr's first wife I deeply loved him... But I was unable to bare him anymore heirs, he had to marry a witch, who then gave him many more, you however are on the opposite end being the second pushed to first, so I can understand your struggle." She nodded her head a few times.

"I had to learn the hard way, but a true queen never needs a man, you never need a king when you are strong as you are, and I mean that from the heart never have you need to be low." I stared at her and quickly wiped away my overwhelmed emotions bowing my head at her.

"Thank you Lagertha..." I heard her chuckle softly.

"Of course child, please be aware this is gonna be a long trip back home be safe, but you have a new focus the weight is off your shoulders." I flashed her a soft kind smile, looking down at Rúne.

"It is gonna be a long, long trip... But I should make haste before Ivar is ordering guards not to allow me to leave or he comes after me, I don't wanna put you in danger thank you so much." I made my way over to her wrapping her in a hug which she returned squeezing at me deeply rubbing my back up and down.

"Of course be safe."

It was a little harder sneaking around Kattegat but I already had a boat waiting, it was gonna be some long days on the water, I wasn't gonna be able to get much sleep, but I packed up some food and lots of extra clothes I could.

I kinda had planned all this ahead for the turn of events. I carefully lifted Rúne and placed her inside the boat holding the boys close.

I also laid them to rest next to her on the large furs, before I started to pull the sails down and all, I glanced back over at Kattegat inhaling, but I then looked back at Rúne and the boys fast asleep, they were now my focus.

After a couple minutes the boat was finally on sail before I stared at the dark blue water tilting my head lightly at it watching the water.

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