In love with my husband

Knowing her demons

Ever since the night we went to the wedding, something had changed. Or maybe it was me who had changed. The atmosphere between me and Seema was still awkward, but not painful. I had started noticing smallest details about her. The way she laughed, the way she smiled, the way she glared, the way she still babied our kids, the way she argued with mom. I was noticing everything about her. I didn't know what was happening, I just knew I wanted to know more. Ever since the night we talked, I wanted to know about her past. Somehow, we fell into a habit of talking random things before bed. Sometimes we talked about my past, sometime about our kids but never her past. I wanted to push for more but was hesitant for some reason too.

"Payal's birthday is coming up." She told me one night.

"Oh, you're right. I forgot." I frowned. That means Seema's birthday is coming up. It was 15 days after Payal's. I knew this because Payal never shut up about it when she was a kid. Starting from her birthday, to her mother's, she kept going on and on and on.

"What should we gift her?" she asked. I took a moment to appreciate her without her knowing. She was taking off her earring in front of a dresser right in front of me.

"I don't know. It was easier when she was a kid. She demanded her gift herself." I replied, distracted by the way her hair kept falling revealing her smooth neck.

She laughed. It was a beautiful laugh. 

Damn it, I was turning into a 20-year-old.

"I know, right. She always wanted some kind of dress though."

"I guess girls her age wanted those." I said.

She shrugged her shoulder in response.

"How did you celebrate your birthday?" I asked, mainly because I saw a chance and took it.

She stopped her action for a second before continuing again.

"I didn't really celebrate my birthday." She replied making me frown.

"what do you mean?" I ask because what?

"People there didn't really believe in celebrating birthdays." She shrugged her answer.

I knew something was off, I mean, she never went back to her house after marriage and whenever the kids asked her about their other grandparents, she always changed the topic.

"Why?" I was too curious to hesitate.

She didn't answer. Just came to the bed, turned off the lights.

I sighed and slid down the headboard to go to sleep.

"They didn't like me." she said quietly after a long time.

"What?" I asked, confused. 

They didn't like her?

"The woman you saw in our wedding, she is not my real mother." She said, shocking me.

I turned on the lights back again before facing her. I needed to see her face.

"She's not?" I ask, watching her squinting, adjusting to the sudden brightness.

She sighed but continued.

"No. My father had an affair at his office. My biological mother decided it was too troublesome for her to raise me, so she left me at my father's house. He already had a family so obviously, he didn't want me." she stopped for a second, glanced at me and continued.

"I don't know what would have happened to me if my grandfather hadn't accepted me in the house. I guess, he couldn't leave a new-born baby on the street." She said it so nonchalantly.

I didn't know what to say. I was searching for words when she spoke again.

"None of them in that house liked me actually. To them I was a person who broke off a happy family. They just acted like I didn't exist. You remember when I said I couldn't say no to our marriage?" she asked, looking at me.

I did. And I wanted to smack my head against the wall. I was so angry at her at that time. I had politely asked her to refuse the marriage, and she had politely said no. 

I nodded my head painfully.

"I would have said no if I had a family. They were so eager to toss me out of the house, I knew no matter what I said, they wouldn't let the opportunity slip away." She said, tracing a pattern of the blanket.

"I'm sorry" I said, because really, what else could I say.

"Eh, it was a long time ago. It's fine." She shrugged.

"Have you met them since the wedding?" I asked unsurely.

"No. I haven't even seen them." She said staring at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry. You didn't deserve them." I said, ignoring my inner voice saying she didn't deserve what I did to her either.

She shrugged again. "I know your life got upside down, but I was kind of glad we got married." She said and quickly looked at me as if I'd get angry.

"I met mom and dad. They really loved me like a daughter. I'm really thankful of them" she blinked a lot, like she was trying to remove the moisture from her eyes.

"I'm sorry for everything." I said, lamely.

She blinked again, trying to assess why I was apologizing. A light of understanding dawned in her eyes and she smiled.

"Don't be. You gave me the most important people in my life. Rahul, Payal, mom, dad. I would not know them if it weren't for you." she said.

I could not speak; I could not swallow. A lump of emotion had blocked my throat and refused to move. I watched her looking at me expectantly and I realized, it was unfair. It was so damn unfair the cards she'd been dealt with. Her life threw nothing but shitty things at her and she took everything in a stride. Not complaining once, not blaming anyone for anything.

I look at her watching me, her big brown eyes thankful for something she shouldn't be, for something she should have had like anyone else, and tried to swallow down my guilt and regret.

She watched me, eyes wide with surprise as I move my hand to tuck a strand of hair escaped from her braid, behind her ear. Like my hand had mind of their own, they refused to leave her, cupping her cheek, my thumb tracing her cheek bone.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you in the wedding. I was emotional about Payal leaving and took it out on you. I'm sorry for not being your friend at least. I'm sorry for not treating your right. I'm sorry for you making yourself doubt things when I brought Ruchika home. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." I said honestly.

She visibly gulped, opened her mouth to speak but then closed without speaking and finally nodded.

When it got clear that she wouldn't speak, I reluctantly pulled my hand away. I turned to turn off the light and wished "goodnight" to her.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I hear a soft "goodnight" from her.

I'm back, you guys. How was your week? I hope you all are doing good.

Anyway, this is it for today. Avishek finally knows her story. (He is so late, I know.) Hope you liked it.

Don't forget to leave a comment and vote it you enjoyed the chapter.