T K H C

🍁 Chapter 40

Besides, Sarah was a woman who didn’t deserve to be called a mother. Carol smiled, bittersweet.
“…Before my mom left, she said she was sorry.”
“What?!”
“Aren’t you acting too surprised?”
Carol looked askance at me.
Well… It’s something surprising. Sarah actually apologized.
“What else did she say?”
“She only said that. But isn’t it enough? My mom won’t change herself. Rather, it would have felt like an excuse if she listed everything she did.”
Carol shrugged.
“The people who are left can live well among ourselves. Really, I’m okay.”
When did she grow up so much?
Feeling moved, I hugged Carol.
Ahh, our little puppy!
“Huh…? What is it? Did I do something good? Then, Sharon! Pat me on the butt!”[1]

“Yup! You were good!”
I patted Carol’s butt.
Over her shoulder, I made eye contact with Madame DeJoue, who silently nodded, letting me know that Sarah had boarded a ship for the frozen tundra as scheduled.
I hoped she’d live a good life there.
Anyway, it seemed that Carol had a lot of emotional turbulence while I was asleep. Nevertheless, I loved and was grateful for her bright, smiling face right now.
The anxiety and messy feelings that had trapped me before I closed my eyes faded for an instant.
She’s really all right…
I hugged Carol tightly.
This cute kid!
“Ehehehehe. Though I don’t know what I did well! I like it! Then, Sharon! Buy me candy! A bunch of sparkling, twinkling candies!”
"No!”
“Why not?! That’s unfair!”
Did she think she could sneakily slip that request in?
“You didn’t eat everything I bought
last time!“
“Shaaaron, unfair!”
Carol, who had been wriggling, fell out of the bed.
“Aaaah!”
Thud!
“Lady Carol!”
“Carol!”
There was never a quiet moment as soon as I opened my eyes.
***
Clip-clop.
The sound of the horseshoes did not stop. Two days had passed since Carol injured her ankle. She still hadn’t recovered by the day to visit Julien arrived, so Carol remained at home.
Duke Gratoni put out a gag order for the events of that day. He was worried that the rumors would spread misinformation that Carol tried to kill herself.
As a result, I was going alone to meet with Julien.
“Ah, I’m tired, too…”
The night that Carol fell from the railing, I passed out and did not dream. But the day after, I began to have dreams again.
I didn’t sleep well yesterday, so my eyes were dry.
“Haa… I’m sleepy.”
My eyes were blurry because of my sleepiness.
Swaying, I came down from the carriage. It was usually the coachman who escorted me since I couldn’t bring other people to the palace.
But today, it was a little different.
It was the crown prince who supported me as I stumbled.
“Sharon, your condition is even worse today.”
“Huh? What? Why are you here? Huh? Did you come to meet me?”
Julien nearly carried me as he helped me down. It was like I was floating in the air.
“Ah. I thought you’d come alone again today. I know you get nervous when you have to enter alone.”
“Who, me? I’m not nervous at all. And I can walk by myself.”
“Is that so?”
Julien smirked and let me go.
Heh. Look at how well I can walk…
“Aaaack!”
It was the prince’s firm arm that stopped me as I fell forward. I had to hold onto his arm, which was wrapped around my waist, so I could balance.
“You walked really well!”
“Hey, are you mocking me now?”
Julien dragged my murmuring self toward himself.
“Uh— huuh?”
Suddenly, my body was leaning into his embrace.
“Eh?”
“Me, tease you? Never.”
Wh-what was this.
"Ah!”
My feet were floating in the air. Julien was lifting me up.
“Wh-what are you doing? People will see!”
“Who’s watching?”
I looked around and saw that the space was nearly empty. The servants of the imperial palace simply kept their heads down and pretended not to know.
“Besides, you can’t even walk. At this rate, you’ll stay out here all night.”
“I-is that so? Ah. How embarrassing.”
I covered my face with both hands.
"You should stop doing that.”
“Oi. But did you grow taller again? How is it that you’re taller every time I see you? What’s your secret. Even though I’m not growing at all!”
I glanced up at Julien through the gaps between my fingers. Our eyes met.
The prince was also looking down toward me.
Tock, tock.
It was a small stirring that knocked against her chest. A trivial movement, like a little bird pecking its beak.
What. This…
I blinked.
Julien was no longer looking at me. He was walking while looking forward.
Now I was the only one staring.
It was weird.
Why did my heart keep pounding?
No, it couldn’t be.
I hid my face in my hands. The fluttering feelings, as well. So that no one would notice, not even me.
***
Julien laughed a little. He was sitting across Sharon today in the
glass-covered garden. The garden was a point of pride for his palace.
Sharon was completely passed out at the table. She kept on spacing out since they met up, but she couldn’t endure in the end.
As she nodded off, Julien had to reach out his hand to prevent her head from hitting the table.
Then, he carefully moved to Sharon’s side. Instead of taking back his hand, he took a seat next to Sharen.
The sun shimmered on Sharon’s white cheeks as she mumbled.
She was pretty, no matter what she did.
Julien rested his chin on his other hand and tilted his head toward Sharon.
The empress acknowledged Julien’s feelings.
If Julien moved as she desired, the empress would overlook Sharon.
However, there was an implicit promise to not let go of
Carol. It was an agreement made when Julien turned away the prostitute and continued his engagement with Carol.
He recalled Sharon’s surprised face
when he hugged her under the pretext of her imbalance.
‘Her eyes became round.’
Even in the stillness, Julien wasn’t bored at all. Watching Sharon as she talked senselessly in her sleep, fluttering her lashes, was a precious moment for him.
“Uahhh, you dung beetles… Ah…”
Julien laughed a little as her sleep-talk died down.
She was lovely.
Without thinking about it, Julien moved his head
. He didn’t even realize he was getting closer to her.
He just wanted to see Sharon more closely.
However, there was a slight accident that Julien had not intended. Sharon moved her head, tossing and turning for a comfortable position.
The moment truly felt like an eternity—
that moment when Sharon’s lips brushed lightly against Julien’s.
It was like the tickle of a feather, or perhaps a flower petal swaying past him as it flittered in the air. It was a soft, gentle meeting of their lips.
The accident had happened too quickly that it couldn’t even be called a kiss.
Julien was stunned, feeling as if his heart would stop at the unexpected event.
'Hup!’
Julien inhaled and pulled his body back. Even so, he did not remove the hand that was supporting Sharon.
Julien covered his lips. His face turned red, and he turned away.
His heart pounded like it was going to burst.
No, like it was going to explode.
Julien held his breath, feeling like the sound of his heartbeat could be heard from outside. Actually, he had stopped breathing after that inhale earlier. He hadn’t even realized he wasn’t breathing.
Red-faced, Julien peeked at Sharon. Sharon was still sleeping like a baby. With her lips on the back of his hand.
After a long while, Julien was able to breathe again.
Slurring his words unintentionally, he said, “Haa… I’m suffocating.”
***
When I woke up, the sun was dipping into the faraway mountain ridge. Red silk lit up the sky above the greenhouse.
The warm red light shining through the flower petals warmed my mind. I blinked.
Black eyes looking at me were reflected in my now-clear vision.
Ah. This isn’t my home.
Well, darn.
I stood up, scratching my head.
"Oh, sorry. How long have I been asleep?”
No matter how much I couldn’t sleep yesterday,
I was like a bear sometimes, at times like this. A hibernating bear!
The prince, who looked at me while I stuck out my tongue and smiled, turned his head away.[2]
“Julien, are you angry?”
“No.”
“No, aren’t you upset?”
“It’s not like that.”
The prince repeated his denials, but I couldn’t believe him. It was because his gaze, which always faced me directly, was avoiding me.
I reached out and tapped the back of Julien’s hand.
“You’re lying. Are you sulking?”
I confirmed it with my eyes when the prince visibly swallowed a sigh. After holding his breath for a long time, Julien slowly turned back to me.
"There. I said I wasn’t upset.”
The area around his eyes were red.
Was he sleepy? He seemed tired.
At that moment, the prince’s black eyes wavered as he looked at me. Rather than being tired, his eyes seemed to contain a lot of mixed emotions piled up.
What was it?
His eyes made my heart stir again. However, Julien soon blinked and removed all the remnants of his emotions.
Like he was wearing a mask.
“Really?”
“…Really.”
The prince held out his hand to me. Rising up from his seat, he said,
“I’m just tired. Why don’t you head back for today? I think I should rest.”
It was an obvious dismissal. However, the eyes that looked straight at me and the hands that escorted me were kind.
Was he really tired?
Well. He must have been bored, waiting until I woke up.
I felt sorry.
He could have gone to sleep without waiting for me.
"Sorry. I won’t nod off next time.”
The prince shook his head at my apology.
“…It’s all right. I’m just really tired.”
The prince helped me into the carriage and waved.
"See you next time. You’ll be back next week, right?”
“Yeah! Rest well.”
I closed the carriage door. Outside the window, the image of the crown prince gradually became smaller and smaller. I kept looking outside until I couldn’t see him anymore.
Wow. All I did after coming here was sleep.
***
Julien sat down on his bed, alone in the room.
Since there was nobody around, he didn’t have to hide his rising emotions. Julien rubbed the lower part of his face as a smile leaked out.
“Ahh… Really.”
He felt like a girl fidgeting and turning her foot out of embarrassment. His fingers on his face felt his cheeks heat up.
He covered his face with his callused hands. But he still couldn’t calm down.
Only Julien himself knew how much effort he put into to hide this from Sharon while waiting for her to go home.
Sharon said that important dates should be recorded.
'I have to commemorate this in my diary!’
Sharon wrote down things, such as the day when Carol first read a theological text or when Julien first subjugated a monster, in a small notebook.
She said that these small, ordinary moments should be gathered and would become memories in the future.
Julien thought that today, other than the day he was born, was the day that had to be commemorated the most.
To borrow Sharon’s words, it was a five-star day. If he wrote down everything Sharon and he had done, they would later become precious memories for Julien.

[1] It’s kind of like a pat on the back. A little weird to do to a 15 year old, in my personal opinion, but the act itself isn’t anything extraordinary in Korean culture.

[2] Sharon’s making an “Aww, shucks!” kind of expression. I’ll put up an example of the expression in the Disqus comments.