The Road to Paradise

my life (a tragedy)

I tore up every letter,
burned them A to Z,
I don't know if it ended there
my vision got a bit blurry

buried in my madness
kept my sadness in a jar,
every tear I keep in here
maybe this time it will work

at what point do you know you're drunk
and when do you feel sober?
if I pretend
if I fit in
then maybe it doesn't matter

drifting in and out of time
I don't know what's going on,
it got dark
I never knew
I've been out of the game too long

I know this guy
who knows this girl
who sings a siren's song,
she's extremely beautiful
maybe I'll sing along

for the past few days
I've been deathly afraid
of what I cannot possibly know,
will I die, be taken away
or will I be left behind?

I've slept on a stretcher
one too many times,
"honey do you remember
me telling you goodbye?"
no, I don't.

people say so many things,
life is tragic
and I can't sleep,
insomnia is a bitch to beat,
pass me some more benadryl

walking with feet made of lead,
I feel like shit getting out of bed,
sometimes I wish that I was dead,
walking on ice is hard now

when I'm at home I'm like a ghost,
I'm not alive,
I'm dead (almost)
I have to walk on shards of glass,
and try hard to forget the past

I wish that silence filled my head,
but I always hear screaming instead,
and whispers are filling me with dread,
I should slip into a daydream

my daydream world is full of fun,
I'm far away and I'm in love,
you can't catch me, I'm long gone,
that's it-
run away from your problems!

sometimes I zone out when I don't mean to
I apologize for that,
I'm trying really hard to focus
but my body hates reality

I think if I could keep this going
I'd put up a better front,
life is getting too exhausting
but I guess...
left

so can you keep a secret
or should I keep this to myself?
should I keep living a lie
as time passes by
or should I cut up my brain 'til it functions?