Four Beating Hearts

47 - openness

A/N: Tell me why I am already wanting to write another agereg/cgl book when I am literally so stressed right now? Also, if there are any 18+ or 21+ littles on here, please dm me. I've been tossing around the idea of age regression for myself, but I don't know if I am a little or not since I have never had a partner. I do little things, and I like doing certain activities that seem too young for me, but I'm not fully fledged into that lifestyle. It's just something that has been sitting in the back of my mind. I've been intrigued with this ever since I started on Wattpad, but kind of wrote what I would have liked to have in a cg. 

Penelope POV

It's the next morning and I wake up in between mama and mommy, which I of course don't mind. I didn't have a night terror tonight so I am curious if that was because I was with them. Mommy was wearing a tank top and I was still feeling all the smalls, so I pulled her tank top down enough for me to reach.

I gently latched on to her nipple and nursed for awhile. I didn't fall back asleep but I definitely felt like I could have. I was mindlessly rubbing my hand on mommy's chest when I felt her start to stir.

I looked up while still nursing to see her smiling at me. "Is my baby girl hungry this morning?" Mommy asked in a total happy mommy voice and I smiled while keeping my mouth wrapped around her nipple.

Mommy combed her fingers through my hair as I laid my head on her chest while nursing. I slowly closed my eyes but didn't fall asleep.

"I was hoping she would be big so we could all talk." I heard mama whisper. I guess she didn't know I wasn't asleep.

"I know honey, but we can't force her out of headspace to talk, and I especially won't allow it to talk about that." Mommy answered her.

I opened my eyes and furrowed my brow. Why do they want me out of headspace?

"Mommy? Why I needs to be out of headspace? Whatchu need to talk abouts?" I asked her curiously and her face showed pure shock at me being awake.

"Baby? How much did you hear?" mommy asked and I sort of shrugged.

"I wasn't sleep mommy. Why I need to be big?" I asked again and it was clear I wasn't going to get an answer. I looked at mama who was definitely not giving me one so I looked over her to momma.

"Momma? I needs to be big?" I asked her curiously.

Momma shook her head with a sigh, "Not at all baby, we just need to talk to you about your night terrors. We want to wait till your big though." Momma explained and I nodded.

"Otay, up momma?" I asked with my arms out and she furrowed her brows at me before getting out of bed to lift me up.

"My room p'ease." I told momma once I was in her arms and she just nodded.

"Baby? Where are you going?" mama asked but I didn't respond. Momma always knew when I truly needed and wanted to do something and she respected that.

Momma carried me out of their room and into my room where she set me on the bed. "Am I staying or going sugarplum?" Momma asked and I told her to go, but to have mommy waiting on the outside of the door.

She nodded before leaving the room. I sat in my bed with my arms down by my side as I breathed in calmly multiple times. It took a little longer today, but I managed to get myself out of headspace.

"Mom? Are you there?" I called out and mom came through the door immediately causing me to chuckle.

"You know you guys can ask me to come out of headspace whenever you need me to right?" I questioned her as she lifted me up.

She gave a soft nod. "I know baby, but we never want to ask. There a couple of times we had to like at the police station, but we hate doing that." Mom responded and I sort of shrugged.

"This seems really important to you all. I'll slip again once we are done." I told her with a little smile and she kissed my temple.

We made it downstairs and mom went straight to our recliner with me on her front. "Beth, don't you think that's going to make it hard for her not to slip?" Mari asked worriedly and I smiled at her.

"I'm good sorella. I can be big for a little and then I'll slip again. What's up?" I ask as I make myself more comfortable on mom.

Mari looked at me a little more serious this time, "I had to tell them about your parents. I'm sorry Pen, but they needed to know." Mari said apologetically and I gave her a gentle nod.

"It's okay, and it's good that they know. They should have known sooner, but there's always a little part of me that doesn't want to disclose anything. I guess something else you all should know is that those night terrors are typically me reliving the night of their murder." I spoke the last part quietly and I could see Mari and ma look a little upset about that.

Mom started to speak up, but I interrupted her. "The last one wasn't though. The one where you found me screaming." I spoke even quieter.

"What was it about baby?" mom asked and I took a deep breath. I stuck my head between the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. I looked back to all the women before telling them.

"Typically when I get those terrors, which I haven't had in a long time, it's about my parents or occasionally Ana would get thrown in there. The most recent one was you three instead. I think it just scares me to know how many bad people are in this world and the thought of losing any of you makes me want to break." I managed to crumble out before the tears began flowing.

"You're my family. You're my mommies. I need all of you." I sobbed out and mom pulled me closer to her and held me tightly in her arms.

"And we need you baby. We keep each other safe." Mom spoke to me and I nodded but the tears kept flowing.

"Pen, sweetheart, I am so sorry my baby that you have to experience that." Mari spoke next before ma said something.

"Sugarplum, did sleeping in bed with us last night help at all?" Ma asked and I nodded my head real big.

"I didn't have any." I told her and she nodded before looking at mom.

"Then how about you sleep in bed with us until we can see about therapy for you? Only if you want it. If you don't want to sleep in our bed, you can rotate who sleeps in your bed with you." Ma suggested and I smiled lightly.

"Really?" I asked unsure and ma smiled before reassuring me.

"Thank you moms. I'm sorry I couldn't talk about this yesterday. I just couldn't verbalize it yet." I explained and I felt mom kiss my temple again.

"It's all okay baby, we knew it was a hard day for you and we wanted to wait until you felt big to talk about this." mom explained.

"Thank you. I want to tell you and ma about everything of my past. There shouldn't be anything else in there, but it would be good for you two to know. Can we do that later though? I want to slip again." I told her and she chuckled a little.

"Of course you can slip little one. We will talk about the rest later. I love you baby." Mommy told me and kissed my forehead. Mama and momma both repeated mommy and I said it back to them. I curled my body as best as I could on mommy as she rubbed my head. An ultimate weakness of mine.