collateral damage 🔞 - COMPLETE

•fifty-one•

~~~~~Naeun

Ever since the night we had the members over for dinner, I've noticed a change in Haerin. I don't know if Jeongguk sees it, and I hesitate to make something out of nothing. The empty soju bottles multiply daily though, and I know something is brewing. She takes the kids to school every morning, and I pick them up on my way home. When we get there, dinner is usually prepared, or ordered, but Haerin is in her room. She is spending so much time on her own, and I'm very nervous about it.

As we enter the building today, there is a man standing by the concierge desk. He's talking to the nosy woman who works there. I try not to pay attention, but I catch her gesturing to us with her head, making the man turn. I hustle the kids into the elevator, and as the door closes a flash goes off. Both Ye-Jun and Mi-Hi were standing at the closing door, facing the man who took their picture.

Slightly panicking, I take my phone out and text Jin. He doesn't respond immediately, which means they are rehearsing, and I'm worried. Both kids are looking at me, and I just smile trying not to make them scared. When the elevator opens to the apartment, we're met with dinner on the table, but no Haerin... Again...

"Mama?"

Mi-Hi misses her mother, but I don't know what to say about it. I just pat her head and tell them to go wash up. Ye-Jun takes his sister's hand, and they walk up the stairs to get freshened up. Slumping onto a chair, I grip my phone tightly, hoping for a text from Jin. Why did that man take the kids picture? Does he know who they are? Did the lady at the desk tell him information that he will use? So many questions...

"Unnie?"

Haerin comes downstairs for the first time in over a week. I smile at her, but notice she looks messed up. He pupils are dilated, and she's not walking in a straight line. Did she get drugs somehow? She sits down on a chair and asks where the kids are. We chat for a few minutes, and I'm convinced she's not only drunk, but high. My phone finally rings, and I jump up to answer it, not wanting her to hear about the man in the lobby.

Haerin goes into the kitchen, and I see her opening a cupboard. As I speak to Jin about what happened, Haerin brings out some tequila. I ask him quietly when Jeongguk will be home, and he lets me know that it won't be for a while. He tells me they are recording a live video for the fans, and I get excited that at least there will be something the kids can watch that will distract them from the mess that is their mother. I guess as long as she's here, it doesn't matter if she's drunk...

~~~~~Haerin

Naeun Unnie didn't think I heard her conversation, but I did. A man was taking pictures of my children, and I'm frightened at the thought of why he would do that. Who is he? I came across my stash today while I was organizing some boxes that hadn't been unpacked. Mostly they were full of makeup and clothes that I used at Rush. I hung up the dresses, and was going through the makeup when the small bag of pills fell out.

I didn't even hesitate... I'm so tired of being cooped up at this point, I need something to break up the monotony. The feeling of tingling all over is something I've missed. My body feels sensitive in all the right places, and I hope Jeongguk will be home soon. Deciding that it will be a nice surprise, I put on some sexy lingerie, one of his hoodies, and a pair of leggings. Remembering the way he took me the other night, I almost moan as my core clenches.

When Unnie and the kids are eating, I hear her tell them about the live video the members are going to be doing. Ye-Jun is bouncing in his seat in excitement to watch his father, and adopted uncles. I'm happy they've all been so accepting, and loving, with my kids. I again feel the sting of guilt that I never contacted him...

I sit onto the couch with the black plastic cup hiding the tequila I'm sipping, and let my mind wander. Listening to the murmuring of Unnie and the kids, I feel relaxed. Everything around me is a beautiful haze right now, and I feel the corners of my lips curving up. Trying not to focus on how frustrated I am at knowing Jeongguk won't be home for a while, I close my eyes and enjoy the way my body hums with arousal. Not being able to handle it, I stand to go upstairs and take care of myself.