swim || remus lupin

come home

The first thing I felt was black pain. The darkness pounded in my head, sliced across my body, and crashed with every breath. I grimaced as I came to, experiencing a bit of nausea as well. But at least I was breathing.

The second thing I felt was holding my right hand. It was warm, rough, familiar. Remus.

I forced my eyelids apart, scanning my surroundings. Based on the assortment of metal carts, white beds, and that sickly smell, I knew I was in the infirmary.

Each of the beds appeared to be occupied as well, but not by anyone with an injury. I could make out Marlene's sprawled and slumped posture in one, James's glasses by another, Sirius's black mop of hair in a third. It seemed that each of my friends were there and sleeping, which sent a rush of warm love through my heart, almost ailing the pain.

I turned to the person beside me, the only one not in a bed. One of his arms was bent in a sort of 'L' shape, with his head resting on his forearm. His other was gripping mine, I squeezed it slightly.

The boy's head shot up at once. He looked surprised and exhausted. His wide, golden brown eyes were circled with darkness, frown lines pressed into his forehead and cheeks, and an overall look of grey weariness rested over him.

"Sydney," he breathed. My heart broke at the sound.

"Hey, bitch baby," I smiled softly, reaching out with my free hand to brush a piece of hair from his forehead. I cupped the side of his face afterwards and he quite literally melted into my palm.

He seemed to have aged since our last conversation, which took place lord knows when. I knew he had a tendency to strap down his emotions and I wondered if he let anyone break him down, or if he had pushed everyone away. Most likely the latter.

"Have you slept?" I asked, barely above a whisper, getting a bit of déjà vu. He shook his head.

I furrowed my eyebrows in playful anger and slid over, lifting up part of the white blanket.

"Come on," I said. He grinned and crawled under the sheets.

Both of his arms snaked around my waist snugly as he tucked his head below my chin.

"Oh, sorry," he said quickly, pulling back and meeting my eyes worriedly. "Does that hurt?"

"Nah, you're not that strong," I teased. He smiled and resumed the embrace. I ran my fingers through his hair and felt him drift off instantly.

I dropped my head back onto the propped pillow and stared up at the blank and darkly white ceiling.

To be completely honest, it did hurt. Everything hurt. But Remus looked as breakable as the night of the full moon and his arms fit perfectly around my waist, so I let him sleep.

Even so, the perfectness didn't stop the slicing, the crashing, the pounding. It didn't stop the images of tridents slashing through my skin, broken teeth grinning widely, cold hands wrapping around my arms. It didn't stop the haunting laughter.

I tried to shut my mind off, almost longing for the coma I had just come out of.

I focused on the feeling of Remus's soft hair slipping between my fingers, his strong arms holding my torso, the rough feeling of his sweatshirt sleeves, his smell of firewood and caramel, his slow and steady breathing.

I focused on him, and it was enough to pull me back into a state of light unconsciousness.

_______

A/N

okay I know this is short asf so im sorry but i'm trying to split up the next chapters bc I leave tomorrow for a tournament and i'll be gone for like 5 days so I wanna be able to upload

i also am just not doing any of the work that i rlly need to finish so it was either short or nothing😭

ik you guys usually don't care i just wanted to give a lil update😁

ALSO THANK YOU FOR 22K READS AHHH i'm so glad you guys liked the last few chapters so much :))))

song: come home - one republic

how i think it applies: i think the mellowness is really settling and resembles the lovey/happy feeling that syd experiences when waking up to remus. also 'come home' because he really is her safe place/home and the lyrics apply to how remus had been waiting and fighting for her to wake up and come back to him 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3uIilURPYXouyAzxQuBr4L?si=tLfGI5MFSeSY_Y0yLWDPlA