forty four - "Say it again"

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W I L L O W

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W I L L O W

Maybe it really wasn't a good idea to move to Colorado after all, just like I thought from the beginning. But then I started to look forward to something or should I say someone...

I looked into the mirror and tried to erase the dark circles under my eyes that I've recently gotten and my eyes were swollen and irritated due to the lack of light and sleep. It's my first day at school after two and a half weeks and let's just say my mom forced me out of bed this morning.

I haven't said a word to anyone about what had happened or why I wasn't at school but I'm guessing Sargent probably told them everything and laughed about his genius plan. Asshole. Jerk.

I looked at my face for the last time and tried to smile. Show a bit of teeth, yes, right there, do the eye thing so it looks genuine, there you go Willow. Keep that face through the whole day and you will show everyone including him that, you're over it already. Yes, so over it, I've been crying about it since...Willow! Shut up.

"Good morning honey! Do you want me to drive you to school?"

My mom knows about it. Well a part of it. I told her that I got played and nothing else. There's way too much to it but I'm -embarrassed- about how friable I've gotten and how stupid and easy I was.

And I'm even more upset about the fact that, if someone told me right now that he was in danger, I would be the first one to be by his side because I've grown so painfully attached to him it's worrying me.

"No, It's okay mom, I'm going to walk to school" I said and my mom turned around and looked out of the window.

"But, It's raining?"

"It's okay, I need a bit of rain to wake up" I said with a smile and she smiled back at me with a sad look.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?"

"No, I'll buy something at school. I have to go now or I'll be late" I lied and hugged her goodbye.

Another lie. Another lie. Another lie.

I got outside and the rain wasn't as much as before and I appreciated it. I put my headphones on and started walking while drowning in my thoughts. I need a distraction, I really do, maybe I should start writing again? I heard about this platform called Wattpad, where you can literally publish stories, poems and stuff without paying. I should try it, maybe it'll be good for me when I feel like shit.

"The mirror's image, it tells me it's home time. But I'm not finished, 'cause you're not by my side. And as I arrived I thought I saw you leavin', carryin' your shoes"

Skip.

"Secrets I have held in my heart, Are harder to hide than I thought,Maybe I just wanna be yours,I wanna be yours"

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