11: coloured proof

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He was my soulmate.


But was he really?


I knew that colour-blind people who found their soulmate could see colour the moment they laid eyes on their better half. But with Jungkook and I it was different...


Maybe - just maybe - this was all an absurd misunderstanding. A mistake. A malfunction.


At least I hoped so. Why, some might ask.


Every other girl would love to be in my place. Jeon Jungkook as their soulmate. But would they really want to be in my place if they knew what it meant to be colour-blind? If they knew about all the hardships, dangers and bleak days?


They probably wouldn't. No one would choose such a life willingly.


And having an idol as soulmate made things even more complicated. If this was made public I'd be dead. But I was left with no choice.


The monster, embodying my fear, in my chest sprawled out and dug its claws deeper into the fibres of my heart.


"So you're my...? We're?", he asked slowly not daring to say the words out loud.


I wished I could know what was going on in his mule. Read those fathomless eyes behind the thick curls that half covered them. To see if I was the only one to be so anxious and lost.


But he continued to be an unsolvable, black and white picture puzzle like everything else in my life.


"But if we really are, then why can we only see each other's eye colours?", I finally found the courage to speak up in a low voice.


By the way he glimpsed at me, I knew he only saw that as well and that he had had the same thought.


"I don't know", he sighed desperately and ran one hand through his dark curls.


"What now?", I asked. The question barely a whisper.


"I don't know", he repeated staring into the distance.


What?


He was supposed to know what to do. He stood in front of thousands of fans almost every day. He has been to places in the world I've never seen in my life. He knows so much more than me, he should know what to do. Or at least have an idea.


"How do you not know what to do?", I raised my voice, venting my anger and fright on him in despair.


It was not the right thing to do, but what did I know. The ire flickered in his eyes before he lashed out on me.


"How am I supposed to know, genius?", he asked, straightening up as he got worked up.


"I don't know, but otherwise you always have a clever comment to make!", I said loudly.


"Ugh you really are something else!", he groaned and got up, fast not being able to control his temper anymore, and began pacing up and down behind the couch.


"Look who's talking", I spat glaring at him. I knew this fight was childish and useless but we both were on the verge of losing it.


"You have some nerve!", he said gritting his teeth, "you come into my life, mess it up and on top of that you're nothing but rude."


"Rude?", I shouted getting up as well, "you were the one who was rude in the first place, because you're the 'oh so great Jeon Jungkook'- COULD YOU STOP RUNNING AROUND???"


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