♡ Dark Paradise ♡ ; newtmas fanfic.

f e e l

{ A/N: Sorry for the crappy update, and updating time. It's my birthday today and my friends were over yesterday so I didn't have time to update. Sorry for grammar mistakes this is unedited for now, so you can correct me on the comments. Ily all.}
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I felt so angry; so sad. I was finally starting to connect to Paul, and finally starting to see him as my father. I thought finding Paul was my second chance to have a normal life with my family, or as close to one as I could get, but I guess not.

Newt and I went back to Newt's house after the encounter with Paul and Brenda. I wanted to be with Newt, but I didn't want him to see me like this; upset and broken. But eventually, he convinced me to come back with him anyway. I can never say no to him.
I guess he's my weakness.

At Newt's house, time seemed to speed by. We just talked. Talked about anything to keep our minds off of Paul and Brenda. It seemed like just minutes we talked for, but I looked out the window at the outside world, now absorbed in darkness. A long yawn escaped my mouth, making Newt chuckle.
"Well, I guess that means that it's time for bed."

Newt went in his bedroom, while I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
I stare in the mirror at my reflection. I see a sad, tired, unfamiliar face staring back at me. I turn on the tap, splashing water on my face, as if it would wipe off my emotions. The thoughts are coming back. Paul . . my childhood . . my mom, who just left us . .
Everything was just swimming around in my mind at once. It was too much to handle, but I knew I had to keep it in. I couldn't let Newt see me break, but it was obvious.

I sigh, stepping out of the bathroom and into Newt's bedroom. Newt is laying on his bed, all wrapped up in blankets. I hear a quiet giggle come from his mouth.
I hesitantly walk around his room, flicking off the light and sitting myself down on the carpeted floor. It's crazy how it's so easy for my emotions to change from upset, to the happiest person ever, then back to upset all over again. I wish I had known my family. I wish I could remember my childhood. I wish I had gotten over all of this by now. I thought I would've, too, but after meeting Paul, it hurts even more than it did before.
I bury my face in my hands, my tears soaking the sleeves of my shirt. If this is heaven, why does it feel like hell?

"Tommy?" Newt whispers, "what are you doing down there?"

Startled, I sniff away my tears. "N-Nothing."

He's not buying it.

Newt flicks on the small lamp on his bedside table and looks at me. He pats the spot beside him on his bed. "Tommy, come here."

Without arguing, I stand up and I attempt to go to crawl into Newt's bed beside him, but he stops me before I can.

"Wait-" he fluffs the pillow. "Okay, now come here."

I chuckle, getting into his bed. Newt leans over me and slips the blankets over my body, wrapping me up just a little too tight.

"Newt," I laugh, "what are you doing?"

"Oh," he blushes, "sorry. . I just want you to know that I really care about you, Tommy. You know that right? You know I hate seeing you upset."

That's exactly why I didn't want to get upset; why I didn't want him to see me like this. I knew it upsets him.

"But you have to let it out sometimes," Newt continued, "trust me."

He always tells me to trust him, and I do. I've trusted him since the glade, when he was one of my only friends.

"So you can yell if you need to yell, and you can cry if you need to cry." Says Newt. "I'm always here for you."

"Newt?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For always being there. For being the one person who always can make me feel good."

"Don't be thankin' me, Tommy. You're the one who bloody saved me."

"I . . I never saved you, Newt."

"Yeah, you did." Newt nods. "You saved me from going insane."

Newt leans over his bedside table, flicking the lamp off. I just stare into the darkness of his bedroom until it's stinging my eyes. I feel Newt wrap his strong arms around me. Then, I feel his breath and his unkempt hair tickling against my neck.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you, too."

I can feel his grin forming against the crook of my neck, then his soft lips. His kisses start at my collarbone and trail up to my jawline, then back down again. I let the infinite warm feeling flood throughout my body, tightly gripping the side of his bed with my hands to keep me from getting too excited.

Newt puts one of his hands on my chest, and cups my cheek with his other hand, gently stroking my cheek.

I stare into his deep brown eyes, then I let out a chuckle.

"What's so funny, Tommy?" Newt teases.

"I just . . Imagine us doing this back in the Glade," I shake my head at the thought. "We all know Minho would want to join in the fun."

"Shuck that," giggles Newt. "It's just me and you right now, Tommy."

Newt lowers his face down closer to mine, and I lift my head until our lips are almost touching.

"Just me and you," I breathe, letting my fingers trail down Newt's back. "I like that."

"Me too," Newt drawls, touching his nose against mine, our lips touching softly while we talk.

"We don't need Paul, or Brenda, or anyone, Tommy . ." Newt sighs between kisses. "We'll be just fine on our own . . just bloody fine."

"I know." I press my lips harder against his, needing to feel him even closer to me; craving his familar taste of mint and vanilla. Our lips and our tongues dance together for a little while more before Newt pulls away.

"That's all you get tonight, Tommy," winks Newt. "We've got to keep it interesting."

"Fine . . fine." I joke, If you wanna play like that, I'm in."

With our fingers laced together, our legs intertwined, and Newt's breath gently purring in my ear, we fall asleep tangled in each others arms.