The Mimic

15

The rest of the team had no clue what had happened between Bucky and y/n. Most were completely oblivious, but Steve and Natasha could feel that something was off. They were both quieter than usual - which wasn't much of a difference with Bucky - but it was a big difference with y/n. Tony just thought it was because she was tired after her day out with Peter, but Nat knew there was something more.

Y/n was sat at the kitchen table with the rest of the group, but mentally she wasn't there at all. She was completely lost in her head, staring at the pizza on her plate that she'd barely touched. She couldn't help but feel guilty and angry at herself. Nobody at the table trusted her, yet they still pretended that they did. Bucky was the only person that she was sure trusted her, and she'd ruined it. All because she was nosy enough to read his notebook. His private thing. Y/n only wanted to see if it could help her remember more, but she'd crossed a line. If Bucky wanted to tell her about his nightmares, he would've - but they didn't have a relationship like that. 

She couldn't wipe the memory of that little girl out of her head. The mission was going so smoothly until she showed up. Y/n remembered how they both hesitated, just staring at her for a few moments before Bucky raised the gun and shot her. It was the first time they hesitated on a mission. The first time where they were unsure of what to do. But, that little girl just became one of their many victims. An innocent life lost, all because Hydra demanded that there be no witnesses. Bucky and y/n were told that their target was the only one in the apartment, but he wasn't. That little girl wasn't supposed to be there. She could've still been alive...

Y/n seemed to tear up a little at the fact that the little girl could've lived if she wasn't in the apartment that day. Y/n was completely detached from the situation around her. She felt as if she was underwater, drowning in guilt. The team's voices were muffled and unintelligible, all she could hear was that little girl's voice. 

Bucky was in his own world, too. Not paying attention to anything going on around him. One hand stayed tucked in the pocket his notebook was in, whilst his metal arm just rested on the table. He didn't want to let his notebook out of his sights. If even y/n decided to read it, there was a high chance everybody else would. That notebook was his personal thing. All his memories, all the little details, everything. It wasn't for anyone else to read but himself. He was just terrified of forgetting it all. Bucky was still shocked that y/n read it, of all people. They were both struggling to cope with getting their minds back, and were both keeping secrets from others. They were both having several nightmares a night, but neither seemed to elaborate further than 'another nightmare'. It was personal. He couldn't imagine how y/n would've reacted if he was going through her personal belongings - so why did she think it was okay?

Steve and Natasha were sat opposite one another at the table. Natasha sat beside y/n, and Steve sat beside Bucky. Natasha frowned a little as she looked at the practically silent pair, glancing over to Steve, who seemed to have the exact same reaction. "What happened?" Nat mouthed silently to Steve, her brows furrowed in concern. Steve raised his eyebrows with a shrug, shaking his had a little as he looked at the pair. "No clue." He mouthed back, making sure the rest of the team were still distracted. 

Natasha sighed a little, setting down her pizza before she leaned over to y/n. Just close enough to be able to whisper. "Wanna talk about it?" Natasha asked quietly, making sure not to make it look obvious. Y/n seemed to snap back in to reality as she heard Nat's voice. Quickly blinking back the frustrated tears that seemed to have threatened to appear in her eyes. Y/n sat up a little straighter in her chair, clearing her throat briefly as she tried to not get dragged back in to her thoughts. "I'm fine, just tired." She murmured plainly, reaching out to take a sip of water. Natasha raised her eyebrows at y/n, she didn't believe her one bit. But she didn't want to push y/n for an answer. 

Steve watched Natasha fail to get any information out of y/n with a slight frown. Deciding that it was his turn to try and get something out of them. Steve leant back on his chair, leaning toward Bucky a little, but looking the other way to make sure it wasn't obvious to everyone else. "Are you alright, Buck?" He murmured quietly. "You don't seem very happy..." Steve tried his hardest to make some sort of conversation, hoping that Bucky would actually open up. Bucky glanced over at Steve when he spoke, keeping a protective hold on his notebook. "I'm all good, that cake competition earlier wiped me out." Bucky grinned reassuringly, sitting up a little straighter. He had completely lied, but he didn't want to talk to Steve about it.

Steve and Natasha shared a look of defeat at Bucky and y/n's responses. They knew the pair were lying, but there was nothing they could do about it. 

****

Soon enough, the night came to an end. Steve and Natasha had been trying to get something out of the sullen pair the whole night, but it was as easy as getting blood from a stone. So, they decided that if they couldn't get Bucky and y/n to speak to them, then maybe they could speak to each other. Bucky and y/n had been elected to clean everything up whilst everyone else went to bed, with Steve claiming that it was his and Natasha's turn tomorrow to make it more believable. Both Bucky and y/n sat in shock, trying to make excuses and get other people to clean up with them, but it didn't work. Not even Scott was willing to help out.

So there they were, awkwardly cleaning up the messy lounge area and kitchen, in complete silence. Bucky didn't seem too fussed about not talking, he just wanted to get things cleaned up as quick as possible so he could get out of the situation, but y/n hated it. "I'm sorry, Buck. I-" Y/n started, setting the empty glasses in to the dishwasher. But she was cut off by Bucky, who slammed the lid of the trash can shut, obviously not interested in conversation. Bucky walked out of the kitchen to gather all the dirty plates, refusing to even look at y/n. Y/n followed after Bucky with a sigh, helping him gather all the plates. She felt so, so guilty over it all, and Bucky not speaking just made it even worse. "Bucky, I just-" She tried again, but was once again cut off by Bucky carrying the plates back in to the kitchen to load in to the dishwasher, pretending to take no notice of her. Y/n stood still for a few moments in disbelief, this was annoying her now. But she knew she had to at least try to apologise and get her point across, so she followed Bucky in to the kitchen for one last attempt. 

Y/n carried her pile of plates over to the dishwasher to load them in, trying to at least get eye contact with Bucky, but he was pretending as if she wasn't even there. "Bucky, I'm sorry for-" She tried again, but Bucky cut her off by slamming a cupboard door shut. Beginning to make his way out of the kitchen once again. He didn't want to hear any of it. 

That was when y/n snapped. "Just listen to me!" She shouted, slamming the pile of plates down on the counter. As y/n slammed the plates down, the kitchen door slammed shut in front of Bucky, stopping him from leaving. The lights flickered a little out of her anger, and cupboard doors swung open unexpectedly. Y/n had mimicked Wanda's powers out of frustration. She didn't mean to mimic any powers, but her emotions got the best of her. Bucky jumped a little as the door slammed shut, reaching out to open it, but y/n's powers had locked it. He turned around to face y/n with wide eyes, looking at all the chaos she'd accidentally made. Cupboard doors swinging open, plates and glasses levitating in the air, the kitchen sink suddenly running with water. Yes, he'd known y/n for a while, but it was still a little scary. 

"Okay, okay! I'm listening!"