Which? | taesana

chapter 42

                                                    TAE'S P.O.V

As usual, sana continues to ignore me. Not a single hi or good morning came out from her, she just walks past by me like i was just thin air, or probably.............. nothing.

I was an idiot.

I let my anger out first that i didn't notice I've been hurting her the whole time. I, myself don't even know why i acted that way, my mind was blank. I don't know what's happening to me anymore.

Sometimes i just caught her staring at me and then looks away immediately, and somehow i sense something was wrong. I tried asking tzuyu or chaeyoung but they weren't saying anything about her. I even got more worried, i feel like I'm blind to the things I'm supposed to know.

Is there something that i should or i must know?

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Im at the school field, watching everyone. I leaned my head towards the tree where i was sitting beneath. At some point, my gaze stopped directly at someone. It was mark.

He was sitting on a bench with his friends and laughing, probably talking about random things. I remembered that he already had a girlfriend, but where is she? shouldn't they suppose to be together?

"Stupid" i whispered to myself. 

Why would i even care about his personal life anyway? it's his not mine.

'You shouldn't waste your time saying sorry to me. Mark was the one who got hurt and not me, so instead, I want you to apologize to him. As a man'  her words echoed in my mind. 

There's one part of me wanting to say sorry, and then there's the other, thinking of the opposite way. 

She was right at some point, so i should do it.

I stand up and walked towards them, both hands inside my pocket. His friends looked at me, i couldn't really tell if they were glaring but i just ignored them.

"Can i talk to you for a minute?" i asked. He nodded his head in reply.

"Alone?" i added. He gestured his friends to leave and so did they.

"So....do you somehow feel guilty about what you did?" he scoffed and looked away.

"I'm not here to fight, idiot. I'm here to..." i paused. I was hesitating.

"To what?" he asks.

"To..to say sorry about what I did. I could say that im a very possessive perverted alien" I suddenly heard him chuckle.

"What's so funny huh?" I asked.

" I was just glad that you finally realized things, and that you were such a jerk."

"Should I take that as a compliment?" I jokingly said and sat at the seat opposite from him.

"But no pressure, apology accepted. Yet you still need to fix everything between you two. I feel sad about her though, I can say she was really hurt and it's bad for her now that sh--" he suddenly stopped.

"Bad for her? what do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Uh....what I mean is that...you know...uh..she's a girl....and she's hurt really bad ......so uh..... it's bad for her" I crossed my eyebrows. Does he know something?

"Liar," I said.
"If you know something about her just tell me already, im worried sick because of her... I feel useless" I feel my eyes getting warmer. 

"Im sorry but I guess it's better if you two talk to each other, i don't want to get involved in your relationship" he looked down.

"I understand.........thanks" I let out a smile.
"But the thing is......I don't know how to start things over again, I tried talking to her yesterday but all I got was nothing" 

"Bro, relationships include fights, jealousy, arguments, tears, and disagreements, but if your relationship is real you can both fight through all that with love. You can't have a relationship without any fights, but you can make your relationship worth the fight... A relationship is like a house. When a lightbulb burns out, you don't go and buy a new house, you fix the lightbulb" he said, I was moved by his words.

"And by that you mean?"

"You fix everything if you really love her, no matter what it takes" he gently taps my shoulders and left me dumbfounded.

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                                                     SANA'S P.O.V

As usual, every time I go home, mom and dad greet me and ask about how my day went. Well, this day was tough, it was hard to avoid tae all the time. I mean it.

I sometimes glance at him and then look away every time he sees me and somehow I feel being stab in my chest. I feel guilty about avoiding him without proper reason.

"Satang?" I heard my mom's voice from outside of my room.

I hurriedly wipe off my tears and cover myself up with my blanket,pretending to be asleep

I heard her footsteps entering the room and sat beside me in the bed.

"I know you're not sleeping yet, i just heard you sobbing" she chuckled.

"It's probably just the ghost crying in my room" I answered.

"Satang, you've been crying like.... every day.  Your graduation is on Friday you can't attend with that face. Sweetie, tell me what's the problem." her voice was calm.

"Is it because of him? or is it because you can't handle the truth yet?" she asks.

"Both?" i said while slowly pulling down the blanket and sat comfortably right next to her.

"Mom i don't know what to do......should I just abort the baby?" 

"And what makes you think of such a stupid idea?" 
"Sana, listen to me......"
"When I and your dad knew that we were having a baby, it was the happiest day of our lives. You were a blessing to us, and so is yours. I know you're both having a hard time connecting again but it's not the end yet. You have to tell him the truth because he needs to." her hands were slowly caressing my hair, I leaned my head on her shoulder.

"But what if he throws me away? what if he can't accept it? what should i do?" my eyes were slowly getting warmer, tears are about to fall off.

"If he really loves you then why should he do it? your doubts are breaking your trust for each other" 
"You can't just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems, They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work." she kisses my forehead. My drowsiness is slowly taking me.

"It is the most powerful creation to have life growing inside of you, there's no bigger gift. That baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die, just like how i carry you and i hope you do the same" 

Those were the last words i heard before i closed my eyes and drift off to dreamland........