Statehouse stuff

Tax evasion is the best evasion

Any state: I'm sad.
New York: Cool.

Gov: What causes you pain?
Texas: Getting hurt.
Florida: Seeing someone get hurt.
Loui: I agree with both Texas and Florida.
Cali: Life.

Florida: The IRS, FBI, and the CIA, all are hunting me down for commuting 57 different felonies.

Gov: Crimes might be fun, but that doesn't mean they're good.
Florida: Everything is good if it's fun.
Florida: Making it illegal makes it even more fun!

Ohio: HELP! I TOLD ALABAMA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Indiana, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

The Midwest, arguing and screaming at each other:
Nebraska: I just want one normal meeting.
Nebraska: Just ONE!

Ohio: Two shots of vodka.
Ohio: *pours half of the bottle*

Coco, jumping into a pile of squishmallows: This is my life now.