Please, I do not want a heart

Chapter Filler 2.0 : Please I Do Not Want a Heart

"Happy birthday to me."

Dream whispered to herself while looking outside of her window. Then she looked back to her tiny room. She stared for a while at the closed door.

She was waiting for Kaleid to enthusiastically open her doors and with cake and present on his hands, he will happily sing a 'happy birthday' song.

However, the door stayed closed.

Dream sighed to herself. She learned happiness in this lifetime, and now she feels empty that her heart is no longer being fulfilled.

She feel sadder that the steward is indeed still in state of coma. She touched her forehead and rebuild her determination to go to Diamond Country.

Dream get ready to sneak out of her room. She slowly open the door to be welcomed by the guards outside her room.

The knights did not flinched when they saw her head poking out of the door. Dream smiled and whispered.

"Good morning."

The two gentlemen did not respond nor made any move. Then Dream slowly tiptoed out of her bedroom.

Per usual the knights turned blind eye when the princess leave the premises, after all, every single knight is on the side of their princess, and the only way they could help the princess is to let her walk around the castle.

The queen and the mute maids were furious because of this but everyone knows that no one can change this fact, as this knights were under the oath of their King.

Dream slowly walked to the center of the Spade castle. In that center is the King's chamber, his throne and his office. Dream stood by the front of the door she used to see a lot before she turned five.

She slowly opened the door and peek inside.

Inside is the usual receiving room, where she usually will be greeted by the Emperor of the Empire who managed to sneak away from his desk work from the Imperial palace once again.

'Oh isn't it my future daughter-in-law?!'

He will excitedly welcome Dream's little figure to the room, where a sudden flying object will bounce off the man's head.

'Ouch! How dare you harm this Imperial embodiment!!'

Dream chuckled to herself, remembering what the Emperor's response once he got hit by a flying object.

'Tea? My useless highness?'

Then Kaleid will offer tea to the Emperor acting like he did not see that his king just hurt the most powerful man in the Continent.

'My dear Kaleid! It is Majesty! Repeat after me, Ma-Jes-Ty! And my dear! Joseph and I do not like Peppermint. May I have the same tea you served your King with?'

The emperor will then make his eyes rounder and look at Kaleid like a puppy. Kaleid will show an obvious face of disgust and you can see even from far that Kaleid's hairs were standing up from goosebumps.

'This disgusting...ahem! Ahem! Forgive me My useless highness, but you did not meet the qualifications to be served with the tea you are inquiring."

'Qualifications?! This Imperial embodiment needs qualifications?! What kind of golden tea is that?!'

Dream then will come forward and apologize as she know that her father's current favorite tea is her shed made Jasmine Tea. She will apologize that she might had not made enough because she was not aware that the Emperor will want to sample it.

However Kaleid will slide a remark that we do not even know that the useless Emperor will sneak in so his useless imperial highness should not expect any welcome.

That will make Benjamin sob his eyes out and a tin filled of tea will be flying in from the window along with the boy wearing a mask.

'Happy birthday Dream! Here is my gift! Wait where did it go? I for sure threw it in?! Oh there it is!'

The boy will then jump to his father's shoulders and pick up the tin filled tea that landed perfectly on his head.

'That hurt monkey.'

'Well it is your fault that your head is so big, if it isn't, then this could had perfectly landed on the tea table.'

'I see that this monkey son of mine is able to learn to speak so fluently, I should extend my thanks to you Kaleid for looking great teachers for our dear Prince and Princess.'

Benjamin will then grab the boy on his shoulder and make him sit on his lap. Joseph then will stand up and walk towards Dream. He will pick his little daughter and embrace her to his protection. He then will whisper the soft words of...

'Happy birthday, thank you for being born.'

Dream closed her eyes and fell those words enveloped her whole being. The smell of the of musty room and the remaining lingering smell of the people that used to surrounds her. That smell is almost gone. She opened her eyes and the people she expected to see were not there. Not even a part of them is anywhere to be found.

"Ah, this is loneliness."

It is cold and harsh. It makes all part of your skin crawls. Moreover, that invisible feeling continuously stab thy heart. It stab and stab and stab until thy heart feels raw. A feeling that could make you pull that organ out of your body.

"Oh Dear Father, the creator of beings. Us humans are your yet greatest creation but we might have sinned far to great to have this kind of gift. This heart that beats nothing but blood but also beats out all this emotions. Emotions that bring forth ecstasy and also grievance. Emotions that is far too addictive and made us crave for more, and more until it ruins us. You said, this life was not a punishment, but it felt all the same with this new beating heart you granted me. In that former life, I managed to turn it into a stone, numb from all kinds of emotions until it stopped beating completely."

Dream paused and looked down to her chest. She can feel the heart that is pumping way more than usual. Not due to happiness like she felt from the previous years she celebrated her birth, but due to extreme sadness.

"It took me a lot of beatings, emotional distress and mental preparation to get that previous heart numb from all of this human's emotions."

Dream smiled to herself.

"I run away like that. I embraced it all and it was a biggest mistake but I received the punishment and died from their hands. But probably because I did not tried enough and let those people be bathed with my blood is really a great sin."

Dream always thought that she did not tried harder nor she tried to fight back and let that kind of ending to happen. She was a child and the mother who gave her first human body was the adult. However, could had been there a way for her human child body could had done to save that human. That human never wanted her to be born but she did anyway. What if her former's role was to save that parent. However Dream did not try.

Dream look through the window behind her father's chair.

She saw the clouds that are freely floating in the skies. The same sky that she saw in her former life.

"There were lots of ups and downs. But the last thirteen years is a memory I shall treasure. The last thirteen years, I was happy and it never felt like punishment. Probably, this life was really a gift."

Dream smiled and remembered everyone's laughter. It tickles her heart and she wants that feeling to stay there and to keep the emotions from numbing her heart.

"I will not stop this time. I still want to be strong and sturdy like a rock, but this time I want to be a beautiful rock that shines like diamond. A diamond that will reflect smiles. A rock that emits heat. A rock that will be strong enough to fight against fate."

"I will fight this time."