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J A S M I N E     B R E I     C L A Y T O N

I once read a paragraph from Ruby Dhal that said— Sometimes, the biggest lesson you can receive is knowing when to let go. It's such a difficult thing to do to look at someone who makes you incredibly happy, but also causes you undeniable pain and says, 'I am moving away from you'. But it's an action we must take if we care about our mental and emotional health. It doesn't matter how happy they make us, if they are also the cause of our sorrow then we must leave and not return until we can be just happy in their presence. And if that never happens, if we can never be just happy with them by our side, if pain will always follow the happiness that they bring—then we must accept that this was as far as this person was meant to stay in our life, and that is all. Sometimes, the most beautiful lessons are the hardest, and leaving is the most difficult out of the rest to do. But to love ourselves, we must learn to let go of those who cannot give us the love that we deserve.

A smile immediately appears on my lips as I slowly open my eyes. Last night was a blast. An unforgettable night. A wildest but full of love night. Scarlett makes me feel wanted, she shows me how much she loves me.

Staring at the window of my bedroom, watching the curtains dance with the wind. The sun is shining so bright, I can tell that it's already late for the morning. I turned around and I was expecting to see Scarlett beside me but to my dismay the only thing I saw beside me was the pillow she uses when we sleep.

I frowned at wala sa oras na napabangon sa pagkakahiga, hawak-hawak ko ang tanging telang tumatakip sa hubad kong katawan. I looked around at walang kahit isang bakas na nandito si Scarlett. I was about to get out of my bed but I heard the notification sound of my phone, indicating that there was a message.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa ibabaw ng bedside table. I can't move properly, my body is sore and also the thing between my thighs. 

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko ng makita ang pangalan ni Scarlett sa screen ko, she sent me a voicemail. I clicked the message and played voicemail.

"Hi, Jas! Good morning. I hope you're awake by now. I prepared food for you in the kitchen.. just reheated it kung lumalamig na. Pinakain ko na rin si Scottie and I also prepared clothes and a warm bath for you so you could relax." Napatingin ako sa mga damit na maayos na nakatupi sa dulo ng kama. Her voice is really soft even in the voicemail, god! I miss her already. "I'm sorry I have to leave early… If I have a choice I would choose to stay there with you." I heard her sigh. "Uhm— I received a call…" She hesitantly started. "Allison is sick and… I need to take care of her…" I didn't hear the rest she said because my mind became occupied.

A tear dropped from my eyes. How the fuck can I forget that? She's fucking engaged for fuck sake and I let her bed me, once again! But how she touched me, all the words she had said last night made me forget everything. Every fucking thing!


Days have passed after that happened and until now I haven't heard from her. The last thing I received from her was the voicemail she sent me. And now she's been missing for I don't know why.

Hindi siya nag-duduty, ilang beses ko ring tinangkang puntahan siya sa unit niya pero wala rin siya. I've literally gone insane. I want to talk to her. I want her to clear things between us. What the hell are we?

One day she asked me to marry her and the next day she's gone! What the fuck is that?

I snapped in reality ng may tumapik sa akin. "Hey, tulala ka na naman." Si Dr. Lim.

Tinabihan ako ng upo nito, nandito ako ngayon sa waiting are sa labas ng operating room. Kakatapos lang namin mag-perform ng surgery. Inabutan ako nito ng kape na agad ko namang kinuha.

"Okay ka lang ba talaga? Nung isang araw ka pa parang wala sa sarili." He pointed out, I shook my head.

"Pagod lang."

"You're not good at lying." He chuckled and sipped his coffee.

I looked at him, he looked tired too but still looked fresh. Daya naman, masyadong gwapo! But he's not my type. He's courting me, though I already reject him countless times. He keeps on insisting although he knows that my heart belongs to Scarlett.

"Is it because of her?" He inquired.

Umiwas ako ng tingin ng tumingin ito sa akin. I blew and sipped my coffee.

"Obviously," I rolled my eyes and sigh. "She's been gone for how many days already. It's been four days since the last time I saw and heard about her. I want to talk to her and discuss things."

"You haven't heard the news do you?" Napalingon ako dito, nagtataka.

"News?" I curiously asked.

"Oh, my god! The news has been circulating all over the social media and news reports since this morning! She and Allison are getting married."

My world stops. Parang may kung anong matinis na tunog sa akin tainga at paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang sinabi ni Dr. Lim.

She and Allison are getting married.

"You gotta be kidding me. Stop fooling around, Charles. You will never get me in that." He scoffs and shakes his head.

"I'm not fooling around, Jas. Wait up," Inilabas nito ang phone niya at sandaling nagkalikot doon. "Look."

Halos mag-unahan ang luha ko ng itapat niya sa akin ang cellphone niya. What he says is true. Headline nga ito ng news. They both came from the powerful families kaya usap-usapan ito ng taong bayan ngayon.

Umiling-iling ako at pabagsak na inilapag ang kapeng hawak ko. "That's not true."

Tumayo ako at patakbong tinungo ang elevator. Halos magkadapadapa na ako patungo sa kotse ko, mabilis ko itong pinasibad papunta sa penthouse niya.

I don't know how I got here safely but I made it fast. I pressed her doorbell button and knocked on her door hard. My tears are flowing nonstop, I can't stop it even though I keep wiping it.

My face lit up when her door finally opened.

"Jasmine?" Kuya Kayle greeted me. Bumagsak ang balikat ko sa nakita. "What are you doing here?"

"Scarlett," I sobbed. "Where's Scarlett? I need to talk to her." I harshly wiped my tears away, nakakainis ayaw tumigil.

His face softened. "She's not here, Jas… I just came here to get some of her papers." He lifted his hand that was holding some document folders.

"Is it true?" I looked up straight to his face. "They're getting married?"

"Jas—" He tries to hold my hand, tinabig ko ang kamay niya at saka lumayo.

"Answer me, Kuya!" I demanded. He sighed in surrender.

"Yes…" He confirmed. "Tomorrow… bukas na ang kasal nila." Napatakip ako sa bibig ko at mas lalong tumangis sa narinig.

He stepped outside and locked Scarlett's doors. Kuya Kayle looked at me for a while. I felt him tapping my shoulder and saying his last words before finally leaving me here in front of Scarlett's door all alone.

"I'm sorry, Jas. But trust me she did everything she could do to stop the wedding."

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