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A piece of paper lay flat on Fitz's barely used mattress. He stared down at the words with teary eyes as they stared back up at him. Fitz wouldn't be surprised if he found himself sobbing soon, he'd cried himself to sleep so often it just felt like a routine.

He knew the contents of the piece of paper by memory now, it was the one thing his screwed up brain allowed him to retain. Fitz found himself reading it every night and thinking about it every day, it was all he had left of Nina that hadn't been tainted by his injury or the perspective of others.

This piece of paper was hers and she'd made sure it found its way to him, even if she couldn't be the one to deliver it. It was hers and it was his, reading it made it feel like she was still here.

Leo,
I've never been the type to write a letter but before I met you I wasn't the type to do a lot of things. It's weird writing this, not only because I'm grimacing at the amount of emotion I'm about to put on paper but because you're sleeping right next to me. Have I ever told you how adorable you are asleep? That must sound weird but you really are. You're peaceful and safe, I like seeing you like that.

We're in Providence right now so safe is what I should be feeling to but I'm not. There's this constant dread in my stomach that I can't seem to shake and it's telling me that something isn't right. There's so much I want to say and there's so much I want to do with you but it feels like I won't have the time to say or do any of it.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Or maybe I'm happy and trying to self-sabotage.

I hope that's all that there is to it because I don't want this to end. I'm happy for the first time in a long time and I attest that to the fact that I love you. I hope this isn't the first time I've told you this, I hope I'd at least gotten over my fear of loving you to say it at least once. For you to have heard me say it.

I love you, Leo. I'm in love with you, Leo.

I've never been good with expressing emotions that weren't anger and sadness but I hope I was good for you. You've been nothing but good to me and you deserve the best.

I hope I gave you the best.

I had a dream a few days ago that sorta freaked me out, it was nothing bad. It was actually nice, maybe that's what scared me. It was like 10 years into the future and the two of us were living in Scotland. We weren't connected to SHIELD anymore or any form of combat. You were a professor and I ran the Bear Foundation but that wasn't it.

We had a son.

We called him Finley. He was the spitting image of you but had my eyes. He was a playful little thing but incredibly smart, he was using a punching bag while reciting the periodic table. The perfect mix of you and me.

Can you imagine? Me a mother? I don't think I'll be a good one, I didn't really have any role models unless you count Natasha and May but both of them have quite literally put a weapon in my hand.

I don't want that for my child, I don't want them to be anything like me.

You were a great father, Finely looked at you with such adoration. My heart skips a beat every time I remember just how good you were with him.

The two of us worked really well together, seeing that was calming. I didn't realise how much I want all of it with you until this dream, how much I really do love you.

I'm not writing this to ask for your hand in marriage or to procreate (at least not now) but I writing this to let you know I can't wait for our future.

[2] An Executioner's Requiem | Leo FitzWhere stories live. Discover now