One day, I mean I have no idea what was going through their brains, but the gang of super hoe' allowed me to insult them. For free. No extra exceptions and no hard feelings.
So I decided to really get into it, like this is my chance to say what I need to say. So I got a podium, a bomb ass suit with a blazer and heals, ready for my claim to fame.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen and toaster. I have been given the once in a life time opportunity to roast you all. This is a free pass and I hope nobody feels offended but then again I really couldn't give a shit."
There was a small giggle and so, we began our session.
"Steve, I honestly believe you're just a twink on steirods that knows how to use a dinner plate."
"That kinda hurt though.." Steve said as everyone laughed.
"Let's also not forget that you fucked Sharon, probably just picturing Peggy, thats sad dude.."
There was a lot of sniggering and I was only jut beginning.
"Vision, you a microwave, Siri and a red jellybean all rolled into one. Also homie snitches end up in ditches so just stop thanks.."
I don't know if they programmed Vision to laugh because he certainly wasn't laughing now.
"Tony-"
"I'm regretting doing this.."
"Your a billionaire with daddy issues. You have more children claimed than therapy sessions attended, get some help"
"Holy shit, she's coming for you!" Clint laughed.
Oh sweet boy, you have no idea.
"I don't know who you who your trying to be, Robin Hood, Katiness Everdeen or Cupid but nobody just brings string and stick to a fight against literal space bros! Theres a reason you always getting fucking hurt!"
"Huh.."
"Bucky, you literally murdered Princess Diana and so I refuse to speak to you.."
"I didn't kill-"
"YOU KILLED DIANA?! HOW COULD YOU!" Peter yelled.
"Oh calm down spider bitch you latch onto every father figure put in front of you!"
"Okay but thats simply not true.." He muttered.
"Thor, I honestly believe you IQ is equal to the amount of magic hammers you own.."
"What is an IQ?" He asked.
"Nobody tell he, my brother will cry.."
"That brings me to Loki. The day I met you I thought you were a two faced bitch, I mean your a Gemini so I makes sense-"
"No Gemini slander please!" He yelled.
"Honey, your the forgotten youngest child with mental issues.."
Everyone was laughing at this point, I was just that funny, go me.
"Okay, lighting round! Bruce, grow a pair-"
"But-"
"No interruptions! I was trying to think of something bad to say about Nat and couldn't think of anything bad to say, then I remembered she had that thing for Bruce-"
"Too far!" Nat yelled.
"Speedy, on my birthday you gave me hand cuffs-"
"YOU GAVE MY DAUGHTER HAND CUFFS?!" Steve, Tony and Bucky yelled.
"-Dudes shh. So you gave me handcuffs, expecting me to use them on you, well tough shit I use them on your sister"
Every one was in silent shock, did I forget to mention I hadn't told them all about this relationship. So I just grabbed my girlfriend and quickly teleported out of the room.
YOU ARE READING
The Gen-Z Avenger (One-Shots!)
FanfictionMaybe recruiting a teenager girl was one of their better ideas. When the Avengers decided to recruited a member of Gen-z, they knew not everything would be sunshine and rainbows. Little did they know, Y/N was the funniest thing that could ever happe...
