Lilac's Lies

3

By the time Monday came, I was exhausted.

Which didn't make sense, considering I had barely moved from my bed all day yesterday. My body felt heavy, just like my eyelids. The thought of something so simple, like getting out of bed to feed myself, felt like a mission that was simply not worth the effort.

So, I laid in between my soft pink blankets all day. Dozing in and out of consciousness. Drifting back and forth between the dream world and reality. My mom peeked her head into my room every couple of hours, placing her smooth hand on my forehead. Probably checking my temperature, it was second nature for her, since she was a nurse.

Maybe I was getting sick. Like mono.

"You look like shit." Jesse said as I opened his car door. He insisted on picking me up every morning and driving me to school. He said that everyone would know something was wrong if he didn't. I barely looked at him as I slid into the passenger seat. I didn't need to look at his face to know what expression he was wearing. He was wearing the same look he wore when I told him I wanted to wear a green dress to homecoming last year. He wore the same expression when I got bangs without telling him first in the summer. It was a look of disgust, but since it was hidden under his gorgeous features, I guess he thought he could away with it.

And he was right. He could.

"Yeah." I muttered to him, staring at my hands that were placed on my lap. I know I didn't look good today. I couldn't muster up the energy to actually try. I couldn't muster up the energy to care.

"Would it kill you to make an effort, Lilly?" Jesse said swiftly as he started driving to our school. "You know you're gorgeous. Any of the girls at our school would kill to look like you, but you waste it because you don't put any effort in. Even when you wear makeup, it just looks like you did the bare minimum."

I bobbed my head to his words. They didn't surprise me. They barely even hurt my feelings anymore. I was used to him. I was used to Jesse. I was used to him hiding a compliment under a blanket of insults. It used to make my heart flutter when he did it, even though it simultaneously made me want to cry. Not anymore though. The last thing I wanted was a compliment from Jesse.

"Not to mention, Lilly, how is it supposed to reflect on me when my girlfriend shows up to school wearing sweat pants?" Jesse flicked my knee with his large fingers as he said the words, causing the skin to sting under said sweat pants.

"You know the answer to that, right? Find a new girlfriend." I muttered at him, casting my eyes on the blurring mixed greens of the trees outside the car window.

"We both know I can't do that." Jesse chimed out, seemingly unaffected by my words. "Besides, we look good together... don't you think? I wish you would just drop the bitchy attitude. Just relax, about everything."

Jesse seemed like he was waiting for me to say something, but I had nothing to say, so I didn't. I was anxiously watching the world outside the car, noting how far away we were from the school. I didn't want to be around Jesse anymore.

"We should give us another try." Jesse surprised me by saying, and I whipped my head towards him, praying I misheard him.

"Why the fuck would we do that?" I asked him, the contempt I felt for him clear as day in the tone of my voice. Jesse didn't turn to look at me, he just simply stared out at the road in front of him.

"I just said why. We look good together. I'm hot, you're hot. You're a good fuck." Jesse's voice was calm and collected, as if he wasn't trying to be as offensive as possible. Which might be true, I'm not sure if means to be offensive or if he's just that much of an asshole.