in which (y/n) falls for kiyoko, convinced that she's unobtainable. but kiyoko notices the school girl, as she shined just a little brighter than everyone else.
kiyokoxfem!reader
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song recs°∴,*⋅✲ tired, something lesbian and sexy (yeah big mood change i know)
Mixed POV
The guilt hadn't hit until then. It wasn't like she wasn't guilty, but she was so drowned by her own euphoria and love that she hadn't really realized the moral implications her relationship came with. Of course, they practically filled her mind before, when (Y/N) used to long for the touch of this fucking divine being, trying to justify why it wouldn't work to ease her desire.
So when she'd gotten it, she'd grasp onto it and loved it, not really letting her mind dally on other things. Hell, she barely ever thought about the fact that she was dying in more than a month or so.
But when Kiyoko had teased her about naming their kids, (Y/N) realized what little chance there was of that happening.
And so as much as she tried to hold on, her grip was slipping, and she had crashed into the ocean of guilt and self-hating below. She was a horrible person, and it wasn't fair in the slightest sense to keep quiet. It was already way too late to make it right.
(Y/N) had thought of just leaving, once, but that wasn't fair either. She had to tell her.
Their roof sittings had become a recurring thing, and it just so happened that that night was a full moon.
Practically a month since they'd started dating.
"You don't smoke, do you?" Kiyoko asked, gloved hands playing with a ball of snow she had just created, the chill late November air making her porcelain skin pink, porcelain skin that had been caressed by the dewy moonlight.
(Y/N), being pulled out of her thoughts that made her heart heavy with dread, shook her head, swallowing lightly, "No. I used to, but then I found a purpose to stop. Let myself live longer, you know?"
"Live longer?"
Staring ahead at the road below them, (Y/N) swallowed again, heavily this time. She had to tell her, she was going to tell her, "Ki- I, uhm. I have to tell you something," Silence, urging her to go on, "See. I know- I know it's really fucking late. And I'm so sorry, I should have said, uhm, I should have told you earlier- I really did want to, but it really, really slipped my mind. I- I'm sorry. But, uhm, well, I'm... I'm dying,"
