He Goes to a "Therapist"

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(Thio333 came up with this idea when I asked her. Thanks, mum! Here's the promised cookie: (:::) You'll see why "Therapist" has those quotation marks around it at the end.

Jeff the Killer

Even though the virus outbreak had been stopped ages ago, it had gotten you thinking about the mental health of your boyfriend.

"Jeff...," you began thoughtfully.

The psychotic killer, who had been giving D/N a belly rub, looked up.

"It was only a tiny peek at your browsing history, I swear! It was all BEN's idea to see if we could dig up something to blackmail you with!"

"What? I don't even want to know. But how would you feel if I took you to a therapy session?"

"Therapy session?" Jeff repeated, scrunching up his nose as if the words stank.

"Just to see if you're okay, you know?"

"I'm perfectly fine! I. DON'T. NEED. THERAPY!"

"That does it."

You grabbed him by the hoodie and dragged Jeff out of the house, despite his protests that he enjoyed being insane and psychotic.

BEN Drowned... In fried rice?

"It all started when there was this haunted game cartridge that permanently ruined my life and turned me into the monster that I am today-"

The therapist seemed strangely uninterested as the little elf began spilling his heart out and yawned.

"Yes, yes, yes."

"-Then I met Y/N and suddenly everything was okay again. I mean, it didn't hurt as badly because I wasn't alone in this cold, cruel world anymore-"

"Mmhm."

"But lately I've just been having second thoughts and doubting our whole relationship, you know? She's just so nice and I don't know if I'm good enough for her!"

The therapist had taken out a box of dental floss and was flossing his teeth, completely ignoring him.

"But you know what? She loves me and that's all that matters!"

With that, the little elf sprang off the therapy couch.

"Thanks, doc! I feel so much better now!"

The therapist waved his hand dismissively and concentrated solely on flossing.

Dark Link

Darkness laid down on the couch with a sigh.

"Please can we make this quick? I'm worried that Y/N might be attacked in the lobby!"

"Fine then. Do you brush your teeth regularly?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh I mean, how are you feeling today?"

Dark Link gave the therapist a strange look.

"Do I know you? Because your face is familiar..."

"Answer my question."

"I'm absolutely fine."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because Y/N thinks that I'm overprotective or something. Can I just quickly pop out to check if she's still there with Smile?"

"You just have a crazy girlfriend. Now leave."

With that, the therapist ushered him out of the room.

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